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Vietnamese Girls, Sex & Dating

You’ll find that Vietnamese girls tend to be a bit slimmer, fairer skinned, and slightly taller than other Southeast Asian girls. Whereas in some parts of the region you need to do some footwork to unearth the local lovelies, in Vietnam you don't.

I think that it has something to do with the near total absence of overweight people, the vast majority of ladies in Vietnam have fit, slim and sexy physiques.

A major selling point of the dating sites is that you can travel alone and easily arrange to meet up with girls before you get to Thailand. The best site to use for this is:

My recommended Thai dating site

With regard to regular Vietnamese girls, as compared to regular Thai girls, I’d say that the differences in dating culture between the two are barely perceptible to the inexperienced eye. There are some significant differences in daily life with Vietnamese women, but their romantic priorities are similar.

To learn more on this, I’d advise you to have a read of my Thai dating section, because it is highly applicable to the lovely ladies of Vietnam.

Casual sex with Vietnamese girls is hard to come by in traditional areas but, as is always the case, there are working-girls to be found in the tourist areas. This will, however, be a relatively expensive option by Southeast Asian standards.

If you do score with a regular lady, she’ll likely be a desperately poor girl (of which, admittedly, there are many) who is clinging on to the hope that by giving you what you want you’ll end up marrying her at some point in the future.

Street food in Hanoi, and yes, it can get cold in the north of Vietnam...

The point is that, as far as romance is concerned, Vietnamese girls are only a good option for those guys who are serious in their long-term commitment intentions. If it is casual sex and short-term fun that you are looking for then any of Thailand, Cambodia or the Philippines are better places to go looking for action.

Dating Etiquette

During the course of a first date, assuming that you like the girl, you need to let her know that you are a serious contender for something permanent i.e. you should make her aware that you have got the necessary financial resources to provide for a wife/family.

I’m not suggesting that you turn up to your date with your bank statement in hand, these things need to be handled in a subtle manner, but it does need to be done. Once it is done, leave the subject alone and don’t repeat it.

The reason for this is that, as stated above, decent Vietnamese girls are not looking for casual encounters with western men. They are invariably looking for potential husbands, so casually let her know that you have the practical means of supporting her in the event that the two of you hit it off.

You don’t need to hit it off immediately and declare your undying love at the end of your first date, but she needs to know that she isn’t wasting her time on someone who simply isn’t capable of providing for a family.

If things go well and you start to see each other on a regular basis, be aware that things will not immediately progress to the bedroom. A regular Vietnamese girl will even be scared of calling you her boyfriend in public because, in the event of a breakup, everyone will assume that she has had sex with you.

Virginity is still highly prized in Vietnam and, whilst things are slowly changing, there are still lots of brides that are virgins up until their wedding night.

You need to understand this; losing her virginity will seriously harm her desirability to Vietnamese men, and that can have very serious consequences that will last a lifetime if it were to cause her to miss out on another suitor just because of a previous relationship with a westerner.

Some Vietnamese university students in traditional dress

Patience is necessary if you want success, but there are limits and she will know full-well that you are not going to wait until your wedding night to do the dirty deed. You will, however, usually need to wait until she is sure that the two of you are going to end up married.

Noteworthy points about Vietnamese girls

  • Cash gifts are perfectly acceptable in Vietnamese culture, and they will be very happily received… Even a modest gift for your girl of a couple of hundred U.S. dollars will get your girl looking at you with a lot of admiration and gratitude, and it’s the sort of thing that will bring you some bedroom prizes because it will convince her that you are interested in her for the long haul. Don’t abuse this tactic though, if you are not interested in the long haul then don’t deceive her – remember that she’s putting a lot on the line by formalizing her girlfriend status for you.
  • Vietnamese girls are often perfectly happy with the idea of leaving their homes for a new life overseas; many of them have been leaving South Vietnam since the fall of Saigon in 1975 and most western countries have a sizable Vietnamese community because of it. The presence of these Viet expats in your country is one of the reasons why she will feel quite at ease with the idea of leaving her homeland – she may well even know some people that already live in your country.
  • Once you find a girl that has fallen for your charms, you’ll need to do a bit of forward planning about where you intend to carry out your nocturnal activities. Taking her back to your hotel might not be possible because it is actually illegal for her to stay with you in your room (unless you are married to her of course). A simple solution to this is to give the Vietnamese girls that you score with a little money so that they can book their own rooms. You’ll have to do some covert room-hopping once you are both settled into your respective rooms, but that won’t be too difficult to manage.
  • Vietnamese girls tend not have any deep religious convictions. According to Wikipedia, Vietnam is one of the least religious countries in the world. Contraceptives are readily available and there is no risk of the state religion getting involved in your family planning preferences were you to get a girl pregnant. If this happened and the two of you decided that an abortion would be the best way forward then you won’t be refused this option, these things are not uncommon and safety standards are high.
  • As a final point about Vietnamese girls, I’ll repeat something that I’ve stressed on my pages about Thai girls, and that is that on no account should you allow yourself to lose your temper… ever. In a culture that you are not familiar with there will no doubt be countless frustrations and misunderstandings, but losing control of your emotions will mark you out as some sort of defective adult. Worse than that, if the local people take offense, then things can easily escalate out of control. Just relax, be patient, and good things will to come to you.

A Vietnamese lady romance

By Roland (from Vietnam)

Dating a Vietnamese lady is complicated; nobody expects relationships to be simple of course, far from it, but when dating so far from home you have to be prepared to face some extra challenges. Culture clash - the differences are usually obvious when one arrives in a new place.

While most expats would tell you that adjusting to it all doesn’t take very long, that’s not entirely true. Yes, you do get used to seeing whole chickens, head and all, on people’s plates. You get used to the lawless traffic and the tiny chairs, but for most travelers, the bulk of the cultural differences won’t ever register. You could live here for years without noticing them, however, all that begins to change when you date a Vietnamese lady…

Online dating sites in Thailand are getting bigger and better. The number of regular, decent, trustworthy Thai girls using these sites is higher than ever, see for yourself on:

My recommended Thai dating site

This is a lesson that my flat-mate Andrew has gradually been learning. He’s lived in Vietnam for nearly three years now, the last two of which he’s spent dating a young Vietnamese lady called Ngon. Over the past two months I’ve lived with Andrew, Ngon has been a constant feature. She’s here most nights, friendly, always smiling, and she often volunteers to do the cooking and cleaning.

There was never any kind of suggestion that their relationship was heading for the rocks, they seemed perfectly happy. Then one morning I noticed that Andrew hadn’t made it home the night before. I knew the two of them had gone out for dinner, but I only saw Ngon return to the house.

The next day he sent me a message asking if she was home - they’d had a fight and he was avoiding her. Day three of his absence came and went and I still saw neither hide nor hair of him. Ngon, on the other hand, was there each night. Finally, I saw him the next day. I was standing in the street outside when Andrew pulled up on his motorbike. He told me again that he was avoiding his girlfriend, though this time he hurriedly amended this to ex-girlfriend.

Despite the odd comings and goings of the past few days, I was surprised. Doubly so when he let slip that he hadn’t actually told her the news yet. He left soon after, Ngon spending the night at the flat once more.

By the time he finally returned home again, after nearly a week spent sleeping at a hotel, the curiosity was eating me alive. I’m not normally one to pry, but I had to know the story. Andrew is an easy-going guy, and spoke unreservedly. Perhaps he just wanted someone to talk to. It turned out that their fight had been a long time coming. Unsurprisingly, Ngon was a very different kind of girl to those Andrew had dated before. The women in his native Newcastle were like him – independent, quick to speak their mind, and with no fondness for drama.

Successful Vietnamese lady dating – heed these words!

Vietnamese girls, as with much of Southeast Asia, are in many ways the opposite of western women. People here are more community-focused and tend not to speak very directly. It’s little wonder then that to Andrew, Ngon seemed both clingy and very emotionally dependent. Where he liked to have his space, she wanted to spend each day together. She was prone to jealously, growing upset with him whenever he chatted with a female friend. Andrew also told me that she was very quick to express her feelings, telling him she loved him after just a few weeks. The Englishman clearly wasn’t very comfortable with this.

Forestalling my next question, Andrew explained to me that there were many things he really enjoyed about dating a Vietnamese lady. Ngon was loyal and feminine, and she always had time for him. She was a good cook and insisted on taking on all domestic duties. I began to get an impression of Andrew’s ideal girl – a stereotypical 50’s housewife. That kind of girl, traditional, submissive and focused on her family, seems to be long extinct in the west but here in Vietnam such women remain common. Perhaps one could even consider them the norm.

Traditional Viet girlsSome Vietnamese girls playing traditional music.

The problem, it seemed, was that Andrew wasn’t really a good fit for that kind of old-fashioned relationship. That is to say, he’s not really a very family-orientated person. He wants to have fun. He wants to travel. He’s not even sure he wants to start a family at all. I could almost picture him trying to decide between having the cake and eating it. Andrew wants the benefits of a relationship with a Vietnamese lady, all the while behaving as if she were a western girl.

It seems impossible that they could have made it this near to a two year anniversary without matters really ever coming to a head. Then again, perhaps not, because of her more indirect way of communicating, Ngon never says anything outright. She leaves Andrew hints, becoming angry when he doesn’t pick up on them.

Andrew on the other hand expects her to be direct if she has any problems with him. All hints seem to pass over his head, and he simply avoids her whenever she becomes angry. Astoundingly, while they seem completely incompatible as a couple, the nature of their incompatibility somehow kept them together.

Andrew went out each night after that. He boasted about how quickly he bounces back, arranging a new date each night. Barely a week went by before they got back together, he told me that they finally managed some direct communication. They’re on the same page now so he says. As far as I’m able to tell he insisted that she be more direct with him, and that he wouldn’t put up with any more “bad moods”. He also told her that he’d likely be leaving the country soon, which she’d just have to accept. Ngon, true to her submissive nature, didn’t argue.

Now it’s all smiles and laughter once more. They’re the picture of a happy couple. How long it will continue this time, I can only wonder. In a few months Andrew will likely move on to a new country. He’s considered trying to take her with him but, unless they marry, it would be very difficult for her to gain a visa to most destinations. The Vietnamese passport is weak outside the SEA region, and the non-refundable visa application fees are a difficult pill to swallow in the case of a rejection, and applications are rejected more often than not.

Their situation sounds bleak, but I believe there is hope for them yet. Though they often don’t see eye to eye, it’s abundantly clear that their feelings for each other are heartfelt. Some sacrifices may be required, but if they’re honest with each other, and themselves, they’ll be just fine.

Their story has been illuminating for me. I’ve just recently started a relationship with a Vietnamese lady myself, and can’t help but wonder if she and I will have similar troubles one day. I don’t mind though; trying to understand the fairer sex might require a little more effort when dating a Vietnamese lady, but I reckon it’s worth the effort.

Vietnam Escorts & Call Girls

If you are looking to hook up with some Vietnam escorts, you’ll find that their availability is concentrated on the two main urban areas; Hanoi and Saigon. The smaller cities lack any significant provision of services, with no dedicated online escort agencies.

Even within Hanoi and Saigon, Vietnam escorts are only available at market prices that are comparable to the prices that you might pay in Europe or America.

This is somewhat unexpected when you consider that the rest of the prostitution industry in Vietnam is priced at a level that is consistent wuth other countries in the region. Supply and demand determine these things, so I can only assume that Vietnamese girls in general are more reluctant to enter call-girl line of work and that, therefore, the supply-side of the equation is not as abundant as in some other Asian countries.

Table of Vietnam Escort Prices in 2020

Vietnam escort prices
Vietnam escort prices

To give an idea of the sort of prices you’ll need to pay, I’ve done my research and the table above sets out my findings. As you can see, agency call-girls are massively overpriced, so I'd use regular dating sites over these rip-off services every time.

The prices shown relate to out-call services, but you might also be interested in the in-call options. Most of the Vietnamese escorts that I came across during my research seemed to specialize in out-call services.

Some agencies had an in-call option, which runs basically as a brothel with various girls available rather than a particular residential address that only a particular escort works from.

Legal Brothels?

Brothels do exist in Vietnam and some of them claim to be legal, but I can’t help thinking that it’s a bit strange… I mean, it’s illegal for a girl to stay with you in your hotel room, but it is no problem if you want to visit a brothel and knock the back out of her...

According to the font of all knowledge, i.e. Wikipedia, prostitution is not legal at all and is considered a serious crime.

Another thing that occurred to me during my research about Vietnam escorts, and the brothels in particular, was a concern as to the nature of the business. In the read up about one brothel it stated quite clearly on their website that the working-girls there cannot refuse a man, they don't choose who they go with – the customers do.

Personally this is not a selling point that appeals to me in the least, and I am a little concerned by it. I appreciate that Vietnam escorts are not likely to be willing participants were it not for the cash involved, but to have a liaison with someone that doesn’t want to be there regardless of the payment seems more like rape to me.

Saigon at nightSaigon, by far the most popular city for tourism.

Of course, it could be that the intended message is somewhat lost in translation. Even in Thailand the girls working in, for example, dedicated soapy massage parlors, tend to get picked out from behind a glass wall rather than after any sort of discourse between girl and customer. So you could argue that those Thai girls don’t get much choice in who their customers are either.

A nagging doubt about Vietnam escorts

The nagging doubt that I can’t shake off is that Vietnam seems to have a worse reputation than most countries in the region with regard to human-trafficking. I’ve even seen published authors remark that any prostitute that you end up with in Vietnam who can’t speak Vietnamese is likely to be the victim of human-trafficking.

I can’t make any verification as to the accuracy of that statement, but it is enough for me to veer away from recommending any sort of liaison with any working-girl whereby you don’t get to actually talk to the girl first and thereby confirm her willingness to entertain. When placing an online booking with Vietnam escorts, I don’t see how that preliminary conversation is going to be possible.

With regard to the range of different sorts of girls and services operating in the Vietnam escorts industry, I’ve already mentioned that there is a lack of agencies outside the main urban cities. However, in keeping with the entrepreneurial and industrious nature of Vietnamese culture, you may well be able to find some local girls operating solo.

I came across a few websites that function for either a very limited number of girls, or for one lone operator.

Another thing that struck me as unusual, at least as compared to the Thai escort industry, was the relatively larger availability of girls with different nationalities. Now, bearing in mind my previous comment about human-trafficking, this may or may not be a good thing.

Judging solely on the online profiles that I saw, I can at least state that some of the Russian girls do look very attractive, but the cost of entertaining one is sky high – starting at $500 US dollars for 2 hours!

My regular readers will know that my remarks here about the beauty of these Russian ladies is the direct opposite of my remarks about Russian girls in Pattaya, but perhaps it reflects the higher payments involved in Vietnam.

That about concludes my thoughts on Vietnam escorts but, as a reminder, I’d like to point out that I see Vietnam as more of a place to meet a regular girl for serious long-term romance than for the pay for pleasure options there.

The regular girls on dating sites look like a very attractive option, the only downside being that you might need to learn to speak a little Vietnamese if you want to communicate effectively. Personally, I think it an investment of time that is well worth the effort because Vietnam in general appeals to me on all sorts of levels e.g. food, weather, scenery, safety, cost of living… and the physical beauty of the girls of course.

Vietnamese Hookers & Bar Girls

The top naughty nightlife destination is Saigon, but Vietnamese hookers do exist in many of the popular coastal cities. Hanoi has fewer P4P offerings and so the bar-girl scene there is much smaller.

Nha Trang looks like the best of the coastal options, but Vung Tau and Da Nang also have something good to offer.

Meeting the sexiest Thai ladies for fun times is getting easier and easier to do via the online dating sites. A lot of girls like the extra discretion that is offered on:

My recommended Thai dating site

Compared to Thailand, Vietnam does not have anything even close to the big-city nightlife and bar-scene that you get in Bangkok; and as for a Pattaya substitute – don’t even waste your time looking! The coastal resorts mentioned above offer many fine attractions, but the naughty-scene is more of an added extra than a bedrock of the tourism industry.

I’ve mentioned earlier that Vietnamese girls might be less amenable to the idea of working as escorts, and I think that this is also evident with other types of sex-work. The Vietnamese hookers that work the bars at night are far less numerous than their counterparts in Thailand and their asking prices are often higher.

There is a difference in culture to be aware of; in Thailand prostitution is looked down on just as it is anywhere else in the world, but the distaste for it relates more to the unladylike act of soliciting services rather than the actual acceptance of cash for sex.

I think that this attitude is largely unique in Thailand and the proportion of girls there that will happily accept cash in exchange for sexual services (rather than being coerced by economic necessity) is relatively higher. In Vietnam, there are far fewer girls who would think that such behavior is acceptable.

In economic terms of supply and demand, the supply of sex-workers is higher in Thailand and that keeps the going rate for their services down (I'm including all working-girls in this calculation i.e. not just the declining number of bar-girls but also the hookers masquerading as regular girls on the dating sites).

As an example of this, there are many Thai university students that will happily provide sexual services as a way of topping up their earnings whilst studying. I seriously doubt that you’ll find more than a small number of Vietnamese hookers who are just looking to top-up their student finances! The majority of them simply would not even consider the option.

Vietnamese hookers and safety

As with prostitutes elsewhere, Vietnamese hookers can be a threat to your finances if you fall for a gold-digger. I’d say that there are fewer instances of this sort of thing happening though, and that’s because the girls tend not to play the long-game quite so much.

The girlfriend experience that you’ll find in Pattaya is not completely absent, and there are some harrowing online stories about just how ruthless Viet girls can be if you do get too attached, but generally speaking the pay for pleasure industry has more of a short-term business feel to it.

It is not the same as the sex-industry in the west, where most appointments are by the hour, but I get the impression that falling in love with Vietnamese hookers is a relative rarity.

One thing to be aware of is that there are some expats who report a greater involvement of organized crime in the Viet naughty nightlife scene. This won’t be a problem as far as the short-time service that you’ll get is concerned but, again, you might want to give consideration as to whether or not the girl is working of her own volition.

As with Thai girls, the girls that you’ll meet in massage parlors, particularly around Bui Vien in Saigon, often provide extra services for gentlemen. The girls working in Barber shops are another possibility.

Nah Trang, VietnamNha Trang, my pick of the available beach resorts in Vietnam.

How does Vietnam compare overall?

Vietnamese hookers, compared to the hookers that you can meet in other countries in the region, can be amongst the most beautiful that you’ll find.

For some reason it seems that all of Asia has got it into their heads that western men are primarily interested in those girls that local Asian men find the least attractive. That means that darker skinned girls, shorter, and skinnier are all well represented in the P4P industry that caters for foreign visitors.

There are some girls that fit this description and are beautiful, but the best looking girls in Vietnam tend to be fair-skinned, tall, and curvaceous. If this suits your tastes, you can have some tempting options in Vietnam.

If you are looking for a sex-partner that will make a good stand in girlfriend for an extended period of time, one for which you won’t first need to arrange a sizable loan from the International Monetary Fund, then Vietnamese hookers are not the best choice and you are better off looking at other options in the region.

Where Vietnam does excel, in terms of the girls, is beautiful ladies who are suitable for long-term relationships. Obviously, you won't easily find these ladies working as prostitutes, or in bars, or in massage parlors. The online dating sites are your best bet for this, but use your wits and don't get tangled up with a scantily clad suggestive siren if you want something long-term.

General attitudes towards westerners

One of the big concerns that can put people off visiting Vietnam is the worry that there is some sort of lingering resentment towards westerners over the withdrawal of troops during the Vietnam War. This is a complete nonsense; even the North Vietnamese have no lasting negative thoughts about us, they consider it all to be in the past. In South Vietnam there is actually a widespread appreciation for the efforts that the west took to protect it from communism.

This, of course, is not the official line which insists that southerners are happy to be rid of the Americans, but that doesn’t seem to square with what you hear when you get to Saigon. By the way, locals refer to the southern capital as Saigon, nobody calls it by its official name ‘Ho Chi Minh city’. There is resentment in Vietnam, but it is firmly between the North and South of the country, so western visitors have no reason to be concerned.

Street Food in Vietnam is excellent.

It is probably a good idea to avoid mentioning the war at all, in case of inadvertently causing offense. Some westerners have taken an almost apologetic stance for messing the country up by being there at all, but that stance will not sit well with the southerners, they don’t regret resisting communism and if they get the impression that you do then they won’t like it. Northerners on the other hand won’t expect you to feel one way or another about it, it is ancient history as far as they are concerned so my advice is to leave the past alone.

If you are expecting to be greeted everywhere you go by beaming instantaneous smiles on the faces of Vietnamese girls as soon as you make an appearance, then you might be disappointed. Only Thailand is known as the land of smiles, the other Asian countries are less forthcoming with such outward friendliness, but much of what you see in Thailand is superficial anyway. The Vietnamese are a very friendly people once you dig beneath the surface.

Cost of living

There is good news and bad news on the expenses side of things when it comes to romance with Vietnamese girls. The country as a whole is one of the poorest in Asia, with average income per head less than half that in Thailand so, as you’d expect, this makes a lot of things cheaper than they are in other countries.

In Saigon the overall cost of living is something like 20% cheaper than it is in Bangkok, and Hanoi is a little cheaper still. The bad news is that there is quite a lot of variability in the individual cost of things so, depending on what your intentions are, you might find your budget doesn’t stretch quite as far as you’d hoped.

There’s cause for celebration if you are a budding alcoholic; a half-liter bottle of domestic beer sold in a Saigon bar or restaurant costs less than a dollar on average. On the flip side, as you’ll read on my pages about escorts and hookers (see links above), the typical cost of a naughty nightlife rendezvous that you might have in Vietnam is quite a lot higher than it would be in any of Thailand, Cambodia or the Philippines. For more cost details, click here.

Other Considerations

Crime levels are low in Vietnam and you need not have any major concerns about wandering the streets at night. The only significant risk entails bag-snatchers and pickpockets. I’ve heard many tales about thieves on motorbikes whereby two guys on a bike approach you from behind and one of them grabs the strap of anything you are carrying over your shoulder – so be wary of that.

The pickpockets to be wary of also approach you on a motorbike but they tend to be women flaunting their charms. A group of them might pull up to you and start groping you in an intimate fashion; the next thing you know they’re darting off with all your valuables in their possession!

Corruption exists just as it does elsewhere, but you will get the impression that it is completely absent. Unlike Thailand, where police will often scam you for money for non-existent traffic offenses and the like, the Vietnamese tend to leave westerners in peace.

One problem that you might have is trouble being understood. In Saigon and the major tourist locations you’ll be fine, but step away from those areas and you’ll discover that English language skills are poor.

Additionally, local Vietnamese girls that have a good command of the English language are even more likely to be working-girls than would be the case in Thailand. The best way to meet regular girls that have English skills is to go after University educated girls via an online, dating site.

I have read from numerous unrelated, but reliable, sources that successfully dating Vietnamese girls has many similarities with dating in China. The girls can be won over by approaching them almost like an older protective brother; pander to them and take care of them in this fashion and you’ll soon have a doting girlfriend on your hands…

Most visitors to Vietnam report that the food there is the best in Asia; cheap and absolutely delicious, although the range of dishes that westerners tend to like is not as wide as in some Asian countries.

If you have already tried Vietnamese food that was prepared in a different country, and been unimpressed by it, you may well find that the home-produced variety is much better. Vietnamese girls are almost universally skilled at cooking and, early in your relationship, you’ll no doubt be invited to some home-cooked delights. If that invitation entails meeting her parents then you should accept it; meeting the parents has all the same implications in Vietnam as it does in Thailand i.e. it’s a serious statement that you intend a permanent life together, so go prepared.

If you take your time to explore Vietnam, you’ll find a country with friendly people and stunningly beautiful scenery that can rival any of the most beautiful scenic destinations in Asia. Halong Bay in the north is indescribably beautiful, and there are many pristine beach resorts to choose from, Nha Trang being my top-tip due to its relatively lively nightlife. All in all, there is plenty here to recommend Vietnamese girls as a worthy option to consider in your Asian romantic endeavors.

This sweet young lady is only 19 years old and she is interested in meeting a western man. To find more girls just like her:

Join my Recommended dating site:

No, I hate sex

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