Duan's situation is not unique, but even amongst the Thai prostitute
fraternity it is more unfortunate than most. It is particularly
unfortunate in that there seems to be little sympathy for her amongst
her own family. Her father is in and out of her life, usually
reappearing at times when he needs money.
Her sisters take her clothes,
live in her apartment, eat her food and use her electricity, all without
contributing towards the bills. They do not give her any money at all
and at times she is expected to give them money even though they have
jobs and money of their own.
At times, when money is short and
she cannot help out as much as usual, she is accused of being selfish
and keeping money back for herself. When times are good and she helps
out more than usual, her parents spend the extra cash on alcohol. If you
knew Duan, you would find it very difficult not to feel completely
outraged at the injustice of her situation.
Regardless of her situation, she will stick with her responsibilities come what may. Her family will always come first, second and third in her list of priorities. Those Thai girls that turn their backs on their families are utterly despised by other Thais. Even if other Thais all agreed that she was being taken advantage of, abandoning her family would be seen as being infinitely worse, and this is something that she will never do.
Duan keeps very little money for herself, she has a small apartment that she shares with her sisters and she has very few personal belongings. She does not have a motorbike, and doesn't even know how to ride one. She doesn't drink much, she doesn't smoke cigarettes or take drugs. I am convinced that, due to her sweet nature, someone at some point is going to fall head over heels in love with her.
The range of online dating profiles vary in terms of 'sexual liberation'...
...but you should always be on your best behaviour. Good manners are very important.
Both short term fun and serious romance is available, but choose wisely if you want the latter!
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Thai prostitute warning!
Here’s the problem; the last thing that I would advise anyone to do is to get romantically involved with a lady like Duan. I've seen it happen many times before and it just doesn't work. Duan is a lovely girl.... in her family life! When she dons her Thai prostitute posture she is a completely different girl and she has absolutely no concern for the welfare of any wealthy foreigner that is on a sex vacation! She has far greater problems to worry about than that.
You may think that you can straighten her out and solve her problems – but you almost certainly can't. A Westerner might look at the situation, help her out financially, and start to blame her parents for everything... and as soon as you do that, Duan will hate your guts! This is a no-win situation as far as any sort of long-term romance is concerned.
I've personally watched her laughing with friends about an SMS message that had been sent to her by an admiring Westerner. It was a tender message declaring loving feelings and so on. The laughter was due to happiness at having snared another unsuspecting farang boyfriend, and another income stream. Ruthlessness in a Thai prostitute is necessary if she is going to maximise her income. She is banking on getting her customers to fall in love with her and send money to her each month after they have departed Thailand.
Duan is not a bad person, she's just a person who is in a bad situation. Maybe one day she will meet someone that is right for her but there's no way she is about to risk anything on your average tourist. She will hedge her bets, she will not put all her eggs in one basket, and she will attempt to get as many farang boyfriends as she can. That's her best way of securing a reliable, sizable income and being able to support her family.
Just don't make the mistake of thinking that your 'Duan' is different. If you met her in a tourist area bar then she is almost guaranteed to be a Thai prostitute, and you are very likely to get stung. You might think that a girl capable of such total devotion towards her family will be sure to mirror that loyalty in her devotion towards you... think again!
You will almost certainly be seen as not much more than a means to an end - the end being financial security for her family. In terms of ranking you in her list of priorities, even if you were to marry her, it would probably go something like this:
- Mum, Dad and Children
- Brothers and Sisters
- Extended Family
- The Thai Boyfriend that you don't know about!
- The dog
- The other farang customers that you don't know about!