Thai Dating Tactics & Strategy!

In my Thai dating strategy I’m pulling out all the stops to give you the very best advice that I can offer about forging successful long-term relationships with Thai women. By which I mean, women who are worthy of your love.

You’ll find that the information below is essential reading, and especially so if you have had read any horror stories about Thai/Western relationships.

Online dating sites in Thailand are getting bigger and better. The number of regular, decent, trustworthy Thai girls using these sites is higher than ever, see for yourself on:

My recommended Thai dating site


I’ll state up front that most westerners have a very warped opinion about the virtues of Thai women and their suitability for serious romance. This is because of the deserved bad reputation of bar girls and the poor guys who have gotten right royally screwed over by them.

The failure rate of such relationships is extremely high, but it is quite common for that failure to lay dormant for many years until the bar girl in question is presented with a better option in the form of a richer man.

This is fine so long as the man is aware of the basis of his relationship, but I find very little evidence that this is the case amongst my fellow westerners, most of whom believe that their much younger ex bar girl partners are completely in love with them.

I wish them all the best, but the track record of these sorts of relationships is not good, and I suspect that more than a few expats are in for a rude awakening at some point.

It’s unfair to judge regular Thai dating under this spotlight. You wouldn’t judge western girls by the standard of behaviour set by western prostitutes, many of whom come from a background of absent fathers, drug abuse, anti-social behaviour, vandalism, high rates of teenage pregnancy, high unemployment and all sorts of other problems that affect standards of behaviour.

There are beautiful ladies waiting to meet you in Thailand.

In Thailand it is much less obvious to us westerners that there is an equally strong divide between regular Thai women and those who work in the bars…

So, don't rush things, take your time and read up...

A basic understanding of Thai dating, how to find the good girls, how to impress them and how to understand them is essential if you want success, and I’m going to give you that right here.

Hacked! - Online Thai Dating Advice

Whilst the best way to meet regular Thai women is to do it in person in Thailand (going after Thai work colleagues, friends of friends, and so on), but this is not feasible for the vast majority of guys who are based overseas and don’t have any Thai friends.

That being the case, the online dating sites are your best option, but only if you know how to use them properly!

The relatively small number of western expats that do understand how to use Thai dating sites, whilst avoiding the tricksters, will tell you that it is much better to approach the online girls who are too shy to post pictures of themselves. That’s not what the vast majority of guys do; they almost invariably focus on the girls that post the most attractive pictures of themselves, with heavy make-up and revealing clothes…

If you know anything at all about Thai women then you will know that these are not the right ladies to be focusing on, not if a long-term successful romance is your objective.

Going about your online Thai dating endeavours with a more strategic approach will gain you access to the best girls, so let’s detail that approach now.

I advise you to prepare a very short and simple introduction message to be sent to the ladies on your chosen Thai dating site, something like:

“Hello my name is ____, I’m interested in Thailand and would like to meet a nice lady there. I’ve attached my photo, can you send me your photo please?”

  • Use the search filter to find Thai singles that fit your specifications i.e. age, location, body type etc., and discard profiles with photos.
  • Send your message to a batch of ladies, maybe 20 to 40 in total, and only reply to those girls who send you a picture that you like.
  • Rinse and repeat the process until you have a few women that you’d like to meet up with.
  • At some point, it would be a good idea to have a short video chat so that you can confirm their appearances, and so that they can confirm yours.

You can have some confidence that these girls will not be in contact with many other men because the online girls that don’t display pictures on their profiles get completely ignored by most guys.

On the first point, related to filtering girls, there are many considerations to make as to what sort of respectable lady you want, so have a read of my page about Thai girlfriends, it will help you to decide.

If things get really serious, you might start thinking about marriage... if so make sure you learn what to expect by reading my page about Thai wives.

When messaging or chatting with these ladies, make sure that you are respectful. Under no circumstances should you mention anything about sex. Any respectable girl will be immediately scared off by that. Thai sex attitudes amongst polite society are very different to what you find in the tourist areas.

Your best bet is to use plain language and avoid using phrases that have meanings different to the sum of the words, because those meanings will likely be lost in translation.

You might like to think that you can easily score with the good girls that are 20 or more years younger than you, even if you are bald, overweight and so on. Sadly, this is not the case, not with the good girls at least. You may well be able to have lots of short-term fun with beautiful young ladies, but you need a more realistic target if you want true-love.

That’s not to say that you need to settle for someone who has absolutely no sex appeal. You will easily be able to find girls on Thai dating sites who are much better looking than those available to you in the west. You can find good girls that are significantly younger, good looking, and slim, but keep it sensible. You need to honestly assess your own attractiveness level and act accordingly.

Thai ladies love romance...

If you are using an online Thai dating site to target girls in the 30+ age group, you will find that western men are highly sought after. Believe it or not, at this age many Thai men will consider the girls to be too old. The girls know it and so they turn to westerners. Additionally, if the girl has a child, many Thai men will rule out any possibility of marriage, so there are also lots of single mums looking for westerners.

How to impress Thai women on the first date

Obviously, on a first date your clothing choices and the manner of your conduct will be important, you only ever get to make one first impression and if it isn’t the right one you probably won’t get another date.

Happily, it’s very easy to make a good first impression.

Your main goal is just to put your girl at ease and show her that she has nothing to worry about when she is in your company. Confidence is important, but Thai dating should be done in a relaxed, controlled sort of way rather than the all-singing all-dancing manner that would impress your typical Western girl.

You need to emphasize the friendly part by being full of smiles, but don’t go for the touchy feely approach as that would be too forward (even indecent) for traditional Thai tastes.

As far as the dress code is concerned, you should not turn up in shorts, t-shirt and sandals if you are intending to impress. You’ll certainly want to wear clothes that keep you cool, but on a date you really should wear long trousers, shoes and a shirt (short-sleeve is fine).

A major selling point of the dating sites is that you can travel alone and easily arrange to meet up with girls before you get to Thailand. The best sites to use for this are:

Thai Friendly & Thai Cupid


Since you will be wearing more clothes than you would normally want to, give some thought to the meeting point. Choose somewhere that has air-conditioning and travel via a taxi as it will also have air-con.

What to expect from your date

You should expect that your lady will turn up to the date wearing respectable clothing. If she turns up wearing revealing clothes it is a sign that she is perhaps not the lady that you thought she was.

A common trick that the naughty-girls employ is to casually drop into a conversation that it will soon be her birthday and then, sometime later, casually glance into a jewellery shop window. It wouldn’t be done in a way that screams “buy me something…” but it is something to watch out for. The naughty girls are crafty, so should you be!

If you are concerned about falling into the clutches of a naughty girl, have a look at my advice about spotting and avoiding gold-diggers.

Make sure that you have the meeting place written down in Thai, just in case your taxi driver doesn’t understand your English. When you arrive at your location you might, after a time, think that you have been stood up because your lady hasn’t shown up. The chances are that she’s just running late… many Thai ladies have truly awful time-keeping skills, so choose a place where you can entertain yourself until she arrives.

She may even call you at the last minute to cancel the date; if so don’t be discouraged, she will probably want to reschedule for another time. I’m not sure why so many girls do this but it is a regular Thai dating frustration that every man experiences from time to time; it might be a test to see if you get angry with her.

These girls are often scared of the short tempers that many western men are rumoured to have, so keep calm and reassure her that it is fine. You will have endless fun dating in Thailand if you can just keep calm and relaxed about the whole thing.

It’s generally a good sign if the lady lets you pay for everything, a Thai man would certainly want to pay as it ‘gains face'. If she insists on splitting the bill then she might be trying to avoid being indebted to you and thereby free from any further commitment to date you again.

Pattaya has some romantic venues, but I wouldn't trust the girls there.

The first date with a Thai girl sometimes comes in a group setting. She may show up with her sisters, or with some friends. If things go wrong or she’s simply not attracted to you, she can use her friends as an excuse to take off early. On the other hand, if the first impression she has towards you is positive, her friends may slowly disappear from the scene as the date progresses.

Thai Dating Conversation Pieces

Her Beauty – complementing her appearance is a good idea if you want her to like you, but only say it once. Once is enough for her to know that you are interested, any more than that and she’ll likely think that you are coming on too strong.

Your reasons for being in Thailand – if you’re here as a tourist then tell her so and discuss your travel plans with her; ask her advice about tourist attractions etc. It might be that you are here on business and if so she’ll be excited by that and you will move up several notches on the desirability front.

Your family – Thais take their families very seriously and she will likely be polite and ask you all about your family, and maybe your friends too.

Food – this one is a favourite topic of most Thai women. It also offers a good opportunity to demonstrate your humour (Thais are a fun loving lot). You can joke that in your country you like to eat rat gums & eyelids and that you will cook some for her on a later date… just make sure she knows that you are joking! Some forms of humour are not well understood; sarcasm for instance is not a good idea.

Immediate surroundings – look around you for points of interest and just go with the flow.

What not to talk about

Politics – this one goes without saying, Politics is not a romantic topic and is best avoided. Another reason to avoid it is that political opinions in Thailand are a bit polarized and, finally, Thai politics will be seen as a topic for Thais – not foreign guests.

Monarchy – Thais love their monarchy, so be respectful here if you do mention this. On no account should you say anything against the monarchy, not even in jest. A mistake here can put you in jail as it is a very serious crime to criticize the monarchy.

Sports – as much as you might think that your lucky lady would love to hear all about the sublime football skills of Nottingham Forest, and the extraordinary run of bad luck that they are having this century, she most likely will not truly grasp the richness of this fascinating topic of conversation.

Don't rush things when selecting a Thai love interest...

What to ask her about

Her work – It’s a good idea to try and figure out what sort of a girl she is right from the outset, but don’t go too investigative too soon. Asking about her job is fine and it might bring useful information if you haven’t already discussed it before the actual date. For example, if she works in a white-collar job you can ask if she had to go to University first and so on.

Her family – This is the most important aspect of any Thai girl’s life and it is polite to ask about her family. Does she have brothers or sisters, are her parents well, do they work, where do they live etc. If you find out that she is an only child with a large extended family living in poor health and so on, you should suspect that she might be looking for a wealthy, generous benefactor.

Her home – You will want to know if she lives in her family home or at her own place, or with friends etc. If she does not live in the family home you can ask why? If she lives away from home for her work or studies then that’s fine, but it is more usual for Thai singles to live with their parents.

What she will want to know, but won’t ask

Are you a sex tourist – this is a big concern for any respectable Thai lady as she will certainly not want to get involved with a sex tourist for obvious reasons. If, when you spoke about your reasons for being in Thailand, you told her of your intention to sample the nightlife in Pattaya, Patpong, Nana Plaza and the like, you’ve made a big mistake and you’ll be labelled a sex tourist.

Are you intending a fling – even if you have successfully convinced her that you are a respectable fellow, your girl will still wonder about your motives. It is not uncommon for respectable Thai men to have a ‘mia noi’ i.e. a girlfriend as well as a wife, and Thai dating sites are popular with ‘butterfly’ men.

Are you married – this one is related to the previous question. If you are divorced or widowed then you might want to hold off on that information until a later date as it isn’t exactly a fun topic, and it is important that your girl sees you as being good fun to be around.

Are you financially capable of providing for a family – this is not the same as scoping out whether or not you can become a generous benefactor. It is perfectly normal and practical for a Thai lady to want to know fairly soon whether or not a serious long-term relationship with you is feasible, and money does matter.

Thai Dating is a lot of fun and it can lead to either serious romances or casual fun, whichever you prefer. I hope that you found my advice here useful and that you find what you are looking for.


This lovely petite lady from Bangkok is 28 years old and looking for romance with a westerner. Would you like to meet lots of girls just like her?

Then join my Recommended Thai Dating Site:



Homepage | Main Thai Girls Page


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