Regarding Thai Bar Girls, I can't stress strongly enough the need to regard everything that you hear from them as being a little less than 100% accurate, or completely untrue if you prefer. Lies will commonly flow from their lips without restraint or hesitation, and they'll look you in the face whilst they are doing it… and they won't flinch! This, however, fails utterly to convey the extent to which these lies are swallowed up by unsuspecting western men.
There are a lot of Thai girls online that are just looking for some short-term fun with an exotic Westerner like you! Serious romance or no-strings fun is available on:
We are talking here about a time honoured, truly sublime, lying expertise with which Thai bar girls can seemingly effortlessly work their magic and turn an otherwise sensible middle-aged man into an adoring boyfriend or husband!
Needless to say, such relationships are often built on truly awful foundations. They are often the result of a pairing that started out in the naughty bars of Pattaya, Phuket, or Bangkok where the western man was only intending a brief holiday romance…
In truth, Thai bar girls are not always seeking to lull foreigners into a web of deceit about their, not entirely genuine, affection. Some perfectly happy relationships have been formed between Westerners and Thai bar girls, but that is part of the problem! If you start to get emotionally attached to a girl that you meet in a bar, your better judgement will get pushed aside because you’ll know that, however rare they are, successes do sometimes occur.
There really is no way of knowing when Thai girls are being genuine and when they are not, unless you catch one red-handed in a lie. It is a problem that has caused untold grief to many an unsuspecting farang (foreigner). There is even an exclusive club in Thailand called the 'Pattaya flying club'. The flying club has nothing to do with aviation, but quite a lot to do with sky-diving off high-rise balconies to a quick, sharp, and sudden transition into the afterlife.
Such things really do happen and with alarming frequency once the truth comes out. The blame that can be apportioned to the women in these cases varies by a wide margin, but some have even been directly involved in disposing of their husbands!
In the vast majority of cases, long-term relationships with Thai bar girls don't turn out well. Fortunes are lost, family and friends are left behind, and when things turn out badly there is usually a good slice of humiliation thrown into the mix. There are lots of stories about how easy it is to wander off the reservation when a beautiful young Thai lady starts her mating calls, here is a typical example.
If you are in a bar in Pattaya or somewhere similar and you look like you are enjoying yourself, you will be considered to be good company by Thai bar girls. They will be full of chatter and smiles; they will genuinely enjoy your company.
Meeting the sexiest Thai ladies for fun times is getting easier and easier to do via the online dating sites. A lot of girls like the extra discretion that is offered on:
They will accompany you wherever you want to go, look after your needs, make sure you don't get over-charged, and show you the best bars, restaurants, discos, concerts, events and so on. They will be the perfect travel companions, but when it comes to lasting romantic relationships…. don’t even consider it!
That does raise the question of what sort of relationship is appropriate, and for that the issue of morality with regard to prostitution raises its head. I make no judgements at all on that score, I believe it to be a complicated issue and not easily resolved from a western viewpoint because Thai bar girls are not western, and they tend to have very different values. With that said, you should be aware that prostitution is actually illegal in Thailand, so there at least you have some clarity. As for the rest, as they say in Thailand, it's up to you.
On a separate point, if all you see in Thailand are the naught tourist areas, you'll end up with a very warped idea about regular Thai attitudes about sex, so click the link if you want to know something about mainstream thoughts on that issue.
Below is an overview of the different characteristics of different bar girls in Thailand. I've left out any information about call girls, but you can get that information on my page about Thai escort girls.
If you end up falling in love with a girl that you meet whilst on vacation in one of the main tourist areas, my guess is that it will be with a girl from one of the many beer bars that you find in all the main tourist areas. These girls can appear to be just about the sweetest, loveliest girls you will ever meet.
The reason is usually because these Thai bar girls are often very attentive to their man’s needs in a way that is not common in the West. Things like cleaning, and tidying up your mess, are typical. Folding away your clothes, drying you down with a towel after you step out the shower, making the bed… even putting toothpaste on your toothbrush for you, is not unheard of.
They will go wherever you want to go and do whatever you want to do. If you ask a beer bar girl where she would like to go, she will normally reply softly in broken English “I go where you go”. It’s all very endearing and quite easy to fall for.
At the end of your vacation, there may well be some real attachment between the two of you. You will have shared plenty of good times together and the thought of separating might not be a happy one. In fact, leaving Thailand at all might seem like a terrible idea!
When the departure date arrives, your girl will almost certainly want to accompany you to the airport and I’ll bet that there will be tears in her eyes when you say your final goodbye... this is not at all unusual for Thai bar girls.
Once you get back home to reality you’re going to really miss Thailand and your holiday romance. If you made the mistake of exchanging phone numbers, you can bet that your phone will soon be ringing.... not long enough for you to answer it of course (that would cost the girl money), but long enough for you to hear it and return the call.
Once you are in regular contact from your own country, it’s just a matter of time before you arrange your next visit. Once you are a regular visitor and boyfriend of the girl, it won’t be long before she informs you of some sort of expensive family problem that has befallen her and thereby presents you with your first opportunity to be a knight in shining armour by sending her some money.
You probably won’t be asked directly to start coughing up the necessary cash, but let’s just say that you will be presented with plenty of opportunities to volunteer some cash!
In other scenarios, some Westerners have even gone as far as establishing some sort of formal relationship with the girl before leaving Thailand. The agreement usually works out that the girl will give up her bar work and return to her home village to await your return whilst you will send an agreed amount of cash each month so that she doesn’t need to work.
You may also be asked to pay a ‘separation’ fee to her bar if you want her to stop working there immediately. This fee is a con whereby the bar’s manager and the girl herself will each pocket a share of your money.
In reality the girl doesn’t stop working in the bar at all! Even worse, she may well already have similar arrangements with several other western men, none of whom are aware of each other. Believe me, it happens all the time.
When it comes to the true motives of beer bar girls in Thailand, you probably already know the truth. Ultimately, they are doing what they are doing because they need the financial security that it provides. Many of the girls have no other realistic means of securing a large enough income to take care of all of their responsibilities.
These responsibilities almost always extend to looking after Mum & Dad, sometimes brothers and sisters, quite often a child or two and frequently an errant boyfriend or husband. Your average Thai bar girl is not a bad person; she is just a person in a bad situation.
My sincerest advice to you is to be respectful and thoughtful, but under no circumstances should you ever enter into a serious long-term relationship with one of these ladies.
In general, Thai gogo girls are a definite class up in terms of overall physical beauty compared to the girls that work in the beer bars. They are usually shapely and slim, and they are usually a bit younger than your average Thai bar girl. At a guess I'd say that most are in the 20 to 28 year old age range.
Not all Thai gogo girls are blessed with good looks; some of the smaller gogo bars away from the main nightlife hotspots struggle a little to attract the best looking girls or the best dancers, performers and so on but most of the girls, regardless of where they work, will be slim and well presented.
As with other Thai bar girls, gogo girls are also very approachable and they will be happy to accept a drink from you if you want one of them to come and sit with you. The ensuing conversation usually goes along the lines of “where are you from?”, “how long are you staying?” and “what hotel are you staying at?”
From this the girl will get an idea of how much money you’ve got to spend and how long she has got to convince you to part with it. As with the other girls, you can have a lot of fun with the gogo girls and you certainly get to see what is on offer before you choose.
‘Long-time’ (a day or more) arrangements are harder to arrange with Thai gogo girls as they tend to specialize in the ‘short-time’ (an hour or two) acquaintances.
It’s no good barging into a gogo bar and placing an order as though you are ordering a pizza. These ladies have more options than most and you will quickly be shown the door if you don’t know how to be respectful. Because of the short-time nature of their meetings with men you don’t normally find that the girls try to convince you that they are suitable for long-term relationships in the way that a beer-bar girl might.
If you do find a gogo girl who wants to spend lots of time with you, on no account whatsoever should you allow yourself to get emotionally attached. This might seem like a statement of the obvious but it is still worth stating because it does happen.
Whereas it is extremely risky to get involved with a girl you meet in a beer-bar, it is just insane to get involved with a girl from a gogo bar. There’s no way that a Thai man would get serious with a gogo girl (except if he is poor and she was giving him her cash!), so you shouldn’t either.
These Thai bar girls have almost always had a number of years of experience in the nightlife industry and it is an industry that is not suited to finding a life-long romantic partner. Don’t fall for any stories about her only working there for this or that reason and that with a small financial contribution from you each month she can stop working and blah blah blah!
To be honest, you’re far less likely to hear any of these tall stories from a gogo girl. These girls are a lot less likely to start trying to win your heart and convince you that she is a good candidate for being your next girlfriend because you will probably have met her in a somewhat compromising situation! I’m not aware of too many people that would consider a semi-naked dancing lady, parading around a bar with dozens of drooling onlookers, as being suitable girlfriend material...
For Thai nightclub girls I have two very different recommendations to make:
There are usually lots of very good nightclubs to choose from in the tourist areas and the best ones tend to get busy late on. From about midnight onwards, right through the early hours, they are popular with all sorts of people.
You might think that they are only popular with the younger crowd but you would be wrong. Young people do go to these discos, but there are also people of all age groups inside. The nightclubs differ according to what sort of music they play; you can find rock music, R&B or the latest stuff in the charts.
Inside the clubs the setup is similar to what you get in the west. There will be a standing area, a large dance-floor, and a seating area around the edges. Unlike the west, there will also be lots of girls there waiting to meet up with you.
Thai nightclub girls, the respectable sort, are very different to the kind of girls that you get in clubs back home. You can actually speak to them without them looking at you as if you have just insulted their recently deceased dog.
The ‘untouchable’ attitude that you get from girls back home (even if they are old, ugly and overweight) does not exist in Thailand and you can rest assured that your attention will be much appreciated, even if it is just for a friendly chat and nothing more.
You get a wide mix of Thai bar girls going to the clubs; but most are there for financial purposes as you might expect. Unlike the usual 'freelance' working girls i.e. street-workers and so on, I do think that the nightclub girls are a reasonably trustworthy lot. That is not an invitation to take unnecessary risks though, nothing in life is guaranteed.
Many of the nightclub girls are not full-time working girls; it is fairly common to find University students there that need an income top-up. These girls usually work only on the weekends unless they are urgently in need of some extra cash.
As with the other freelance girls, you do not have a return address to go to and register a complaint if things go badly. It won’t do you any good to complain to the nightclub management because the girl will just be another customer as far as they are concerned. If the girl doesn’t work at the nightclub, they aren’t interested.
It is also possible to find a non-working girl that is just there for some fun with an exotic Westerner. Be careful though, you might easily convince yourself that you have found a girl that is genuine and that has traditional values. The truth is that no such Thai girl would ever go to a nightclub in a tourist focused nightspot. Generally speaking I would advise against any kind of lasting relationship unless you met her in a traditional Thai nightclub for Thai customers.
Thai street girls are, to be blunt, usually the oldest and ugliest of the working-girls in Thailand. Technically speaking they are not Thai bar girls, they are freelance girls, but many of them have previous experience with a bar or two.
I’m guessing that you would have absolutely no intention whatsoever of forming any kind of long lasting romantic relationship with these ladies but I thought I’s include some info because there are extra risks attached to these girls that really ought to put you off having any kind of contact with them at all.
On main streets and roads in the tourist resorts, such as Pattaya’s Beach Road, Thai street girls are something of a permanent feature despite frequent crackdowns by the authorities.
There are frequent cases in Pattaya and similar places where one tourist or another has been robbed by a girl working as a freelance street hooker. The victim is often drugged and then wakes up feeling terrible the next day only to find that all of his money and valuables have gone missing.
There was even a case a few years back that hit the Pattaya news headlines where a tourist, German I think, was overdosed on drugs and died. CCTV cameras revealed that he had accompanied a lady back to his room the night before. The culprit was eventually found and prosecuted but there are other opportunist thieves and dangers out there.
If you meet someone that works in a bar, restaurant or shop, you have somewhere to go to trace the girl if you get treated badly. Because of that fact, you are far less likely to get treated badly in the first place. I’m not saying that mistreatment from Thai street girls is guaranteed, far from it, but who needs the extra risk?
Another risk relates to the age of some of the freelance girls. Some are young…. very young! The last thing that you want to do is end up having relations with an underage girl in Thailand. The safest policy on this one is to make absolutely certain that a girl is well above 18 by choosing someone that looks to be at least in her mid 20’s.
You should ask to see her I.D. card too, that will show her date of birth. You still need to be careful; fake I.D. cards are easily obtained and you will need a Thai person to inspect it for you. Even then you are not completely secure since there are convincing fake I.D. cards as well as obvious fakes.
Occasionally the local police set up surveillance teams to detect foreigners heading off with underage girls (although these are aimed at the obvious, deliberate offenders rather than someone who is making a genuine mistake) and Thai street girls are often the focus of that surveillance. The penalty for breaking the law for this sort of thing is usually around two to four years imprisonment, and that’s two to four years in a Thai prison; somewhere you definitely do not want to end up.
Judging the age of Thai ladies is not easy and, if you’ve had a few too many drinks, the alcohol won’t do a thing to help your judgement. If you stick with Thai bar girls they should be at least 18, however, even there you are not completely safe... I know of more than one bar in Pattaya that has knowingly employed underage girls.
With all the extra risks associated with Thai street girls I really encourage you to look elsewhere for companionship. My advice is to avoid Thai bar girls and go for an online dating site.
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