When Thai Bar Girls cause Western Brain Malfunction

By Kevin (from England)

I have lived amongst, or near to, Thai bar girls for almost ten years now. My first visit to the land of smiles was for a holiday after being made redundant in the United Kingdom. I have worked in the petrochemical industry for many years and a lot of my friends and colleagues recommended Thailand as a great place to visit for a holiday during my regular time off. After the first visit I can say, without a doubt, that I was hooked.  The food, the people, the climate, the beaches, the price of everything and, of course, the Thai girls were what dreams were made of.

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I have lived amongst, or near to, Thai bar girls for almost ten years now. My first visit to the land of smiles was for a holiday after being made redundant in the United Kingdom. I have worked in the petrochemical industry for many years and a lot of my friends and colleagues recommended Thailand as a great place to visit for a holiday during my regular time off.

After the first visit I can say, without a doubt, that I was hooked.  The food, the people, the climate, the beaches, the price of everything and, of course, the Thai girls were what dreams were made of.

Following the completion of my first month here, I decided that Thailand was the place that I wanted to live permanently. I began looking for work in the oil and gas industry in the Middle East. If I could secure an offshore job that would provide me with a 4 week on, 4 week off rotation, Thailand was only a mere five or six hour flight away. I quickly found a job with an Arab oil company and jumped on a plane to Thailand to set up home. Little did I know that ten years later I would still be here.

During my time here in Thailand, I have owned many businesses. Well, I say owned. That is technically not true as my businesses have always been in the name of Thai friends or current girlfriends. But that is another story! I have operated successful bars, restaurants, fashion outlets and salons. It was during the time that I had a number of bars that I really began to understand how Thai bar girls viewed things.

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The Story of ‘Duan’

Some of the conversations that I was privileged to listen to were both hilarious and unbelievable. The Thai bar girls I knew were honest in their appraisal of Western men. Whilst many of them did, indeed want to find happiness, the journey to that eventual utopia was a wild and bumpy one.

The girls understood that in order to be successful they had to play the long game until they found a Western man that would truly take care of them. Thai bar girls are much smarter than people give them credit for. What they lacked in academic ability, they more than made up for in cunning and nous.

One of my most experienced employees was a girl named Ning who came from a small town near Buriram. Whenever a new girl started, Ning was always the typical mother hen. She would offer advice to hostesses and give them tips on how to maximise the money making opportunities. Ning had been working in bars for nearly ten years and was very popular with the customers. Not only was she attractive, her English was also very good and she had a great sense of humour. She knew what she wanted and she was not afraid to go and get it.

She once told me a great story about her situation at the time; having arrived at the bar on a new motorbike… the second new bike in as many weeks. Ning already had a nice house and a car from a previous relationship, and she was turning up to work in gold, new dresses, expensive shoes and designer handbags. I knew she must have started a new relationship with someone with quite a bit of money. She came and sat at the bar with me and told me that she had not one new man, and not two, but three!  She found my shocked face very amusing.

Thai Bar Girls Example - Ning

This is where Western men need to engage their brains and look at the whole picture. Identify warning signs and investigate further. I always felt a little sorry for the three boyfriends of Ning. She would schedule them to arrive at different times throughout the year. She was the one in total control. What she told them to do they did. She made it quite clear that they could only come to Thailand when it was convenient for her. The excuse was that she had to take care of her sick mother in Buriram and so she needed plenty of advance notice. I met all three of her boyfriends and they were all educated gentlemen with good jobs. I became fascinated as to how clever, successful men such as these could be so easily tricked and manipulated by a simple Thai bar girl from a small village.

The detail which was involved in the deception was extremely complex. Ning had three sets of photographs that would be hidden and displayed depending on which boyfriend was visiting. She had three different phones, three different laptops and seemingly three different personalities. One of her boyfriends preferred her to be loud and wear sexy clothes. The second boyfriend who always arrived during Songkran liked her to be quiet, shy and polite. She would not even drink alcohol when he was here for a month. The third boyfriend was particularly interesting. He was employed as a Plant Manager on a big oil refinery in the United States so we had some common interests to discuss when he visited the bar. What this gentleman did not know about his profession and, it appeared, just about every other topic that we discussed was not worth knowing. I do not think I have, or ever will meet someone with such intelligence. What he told me during one of our conversations nearly made me fall off my chair.

It was a quiet day, in a business sense, so myself and boyfriend number three, called Mike, were sat at the bar having a few beers and chatting. I could see that he appeared somewhat troubled so I asked him if there was a problem. The following transcript is about as close as I can get to the actual conversation. Nothing has been expanded or exaggerated:

Mike: Has Ning mentioned anything to you about family problems up in the village?

Me: No, the girls tend to discuss things like that amongst themselves. They don’t involve me in things like that.

Mike: OK, can I ask you something? Ning took a phone call last night from her a family member in Buriram. She sounded very shocked and upset during the call so I asked her what was wrong. Apparently, her brother went to help an old lady in the village and on the way home he had some Thai whisky. He was driving the family motorbike and when he got home he was very drunk. He crashed the bike through a fence, killed seven chickens, two water buffalo’s and the bike is damaged beyond repair. She needs money to buy a new motorbike, two water buffalo’s and a new fence. I also offered to buy her seven new chickens but she told me that the other chickens were so distressed at watching the demise of their friends that they won’t lay any more eggs. She wants fifteen chickens. What do you think?

It was the final four words that shocked me the most. What did I think? Well quite frankly, I was absolutely astounded that a gentleman such as this could be so blinkered and love-struck by a simple bar girl. An educated, high flying, successful and intelligent man who had apparently left his brains at Suvarnabhumi customs.

He is not the first and he certainly won’t be the last guy to be duped so BEWARE of Thai bar girls and their mind games.Next Story

Key Learning Points:

  • The most illuminating part of this story is the way in which the author describes how Ning simply adopts whatever personality she deems most suited to the particular western man in her life at any given point. This is a classic Thai bar girls deception and it doesn’t surprise me in the least that Ning used it to deceive these men. We westerners are too quick to believe what we are told and we always use our western sense and sensibilities to try and judge what is truth and what is fiction. The problem is that those sense and sensibilities are built on western premises and they don’t travel well! When you think that something you hear is too involved or too far-fetched to be a lie that this is exactly when you need to suspect the worst!
  • Another important observation is that Ning is the one who is in control; she is the one who determines when and where her boyfriends will meet her. This is another typical characteristic that Thai bar girls have and it is worth watching out for. It is the only characteristic that allows such ladies to keep these men unaware of each other. Typically, it does not present itself at the outset of a relationship; in the early phases of these relationships the girl almost always adopts a more timid and submissive character and it is the man that gets everything done his way. As time passes the girl’s behaviour will start to change and it is almost always because of ‘family’ pressures on her to do this or that thing… it’s all nonsense but that won’t stop many a westerner from believing it! Typically the westerner actually starts to blame and resent the Thai parents for their influence on his lovely, sweet girlfriend…
  • Notice how Ning was amused at the shock expressed by the author when she told him about her three boyfriends… this is also typical. There is usually no shame or remorse felt by Thai bar girls for their actions; a westerner might refuse to believe the worst because it would imply that the girl he thinks is an angel is far from it, and surely he’d know if that were the case! It is difficult to detach western sense and sensibilities in these circumstances, but it pays to be aware that things that might cause a regular girl shame (and thereby stop her from doing those things) could easily cause delight amongst bar girls, so be aware that even far-fetched lies are likely to be told.

This lovely petite lady from Bangkok is 28 years old and looking for romance with a westerner. Would you like to meet lots of girls just like her?

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