Malaysian Women & Western Men

It is true that the cultural diversity amongst Malaysian women is such that general pointers for all of them are not much use and, that being the case, I’m only going to offer my tips with regards to the Chinese ethnic Malaysians. You might wonder why I’m focusing on that section of society; the reason is because it is these ladies that offer the most potential as future girlfriends. That said, if Indian Malaysians appeal to you, they are also worth a look.

For one thing, there are fewer reported problems with online gold-diggers in Malaysia compared to other SEA countries, and there are some lovely ladies on:

My recommended Malaysian dating site

Ethnic Malay girls, whilst forming the largest group, are in my opinion the least suitable Malaysian women for most western men due to the almost insurmountable cultural hurdles that stand in your way should you seek romantic success with them. Amongst the Southeast Asian girls that I’m writing about, I’d say that romance with westerners is most rare amongst these ladies.

Dating Malay girls before marriage is unusual and you’ll likely be expected to set a date for marriage as soon as you meet a girl. On top of that, if you aren’t already Muslim, then get used to the idea of converting to Islam and becoming a practising Muslim (which means saying goodbye to alcohol and pork and getting used to prayer times). I think you can see why I’m steering away from recommending these ladies…

Malaysian women and ethnic diversity

Penang, a popular Malaysian Island just south of Thailand

One reason why I am recommending Chinese Malaysian women is due to their culture being based on Buddhism. That means that it closely resembles Thai culture in many ways and I’d advise you to read the ‘Thai dating’ section of my site and use it as a basis for understanding Chinese Malaysian ladies. Where differences do arise between Thais and Malaysians, it usually has more to do with economics & globalisation than it does with culture.

Malaysia is much richer, and the independent wealth of the girls leads to some interesting parallels with western women. It’s even true that Malaysian men are frequent travellers to Thailand in search of girls that are more approachable than the women back home!

Maintaining a girlfriend can be an expensive job and there is a significant proportion of them that are quite demanding of their male suitors. This probably won’t be too much of a financial problem for your average westerner to deal with, Malaysia might be rich by Southeast Asia standards but it doesn’t enjoy the high incomes that the west does. If you are taking a lady out for dinner, you’ll easily be able to afford to do it in style and, unlike your average Thai, she’ll be much more likely to appreciate the experience of a fine restaurant.

The problem of gold-diggers is always going to be a problem for most western men in Asia, and Malaysia is no exception, but I do think that it is less of a problem than it is in poorer countries. I also doubt that the Malaysian girls are quite the expert liars that the girls from poorer countries often are. The greater ease of communication will also assist you in assessing a girl’s intentions because you’ll be able to probe her mind-set more easily with your line of questioning; do this discretely though as you won’t win many hearts by employing a spotlight interrogation…

Malaysia Nightlife Hotspots

For details on where to find the best night out in Malaysia, have a look at these reports:

Kuala Lumpur Nightlife
Kuching Nightlife
Kota Kinabalu Nightlife
Langkawi Nightlife

Another advantage of dating ladies from a more developed country is the high probability that she will have had much better schooling as a child. The general standard of education in most of Southeast Asia is not good and a common complaint amongst expats is that the girls they meet lack ‘intellectual curiosity’.

This term has been used a lot and it basically infers that you aren’t going to get much mental stimulation from your average Asian girl. If thought-provoking discussion is important to you in your romantic relationships, you’re much more likely to find it in Malaysia than most places in the region because the ladies there tend to have a better standard of general knowledge, and they are usually better informed about world affairs.

In terms of appearance, Malaysian women differ according to their ethnic origins. The dominant group, as mentioned, is the ethnic Malay people who form 60% of the population. The other main ethnic groups are Chinese (24% and predominantly Buddhist), Indian (7% and Hindu) and all the rest (predominantly Christians of European and Middle-Eastern descent). There is little religious tension between the various ethnic/religious groups, but each keeps to its own and mixed marriages are rare.

The political elite are drawn from the ethnic Malay people, but the wealthy middle-class tends to be made up of the Chinese Malaysians and they dominate the urban areas. They hold most of the highly paid jobs in the main cities, and especially so in the finance sector.

The Petronas Towers in Kuala Lumpur

The Malaysian dating scene

Okay, if you’ve read this far then you’ll probably want to know some practical methods of meeting up with some Malaysian women and what to expect from them. I have 3 main points to make:

  • Forget about the bar scene, the online scene is much easier. The girls in the bars are usually prostitutes and are usually immigrants from nearby countries.
  • Malaysian women are much more selective than other Asian women and they usually state that they are looking for someone of similar age to themselves.
  • Casual dating, and sex before marriage, was traditionally taboo but that is no longer the case. Younger Malaysian women are less tied to traditional practises.

From point 2 you’ll probably gather that dating in Malaysia is much more akin to dating in the west, which means that this is not a country to find a beautiful lady half your age who will pretend that you are some sort of superstar… that sort of thing is great fun, but it’s not reality!

The good news is that the relationships that are forged with Malaysian girls are more likely to be the real thing and less likely to be based on money. However, you may be disappointed to know that a dowry payment is still expected. This will apply with Malay or Chinese Malaysians but you might have better luck with Indian Malaysians; in Indian culture the groom does not pay a dowry, the parents of the bride do!

The Chinese Malaysian women are the ladies most likely to come into contact with western men, particularly those looking for romance. They increasingly meet via:

My recommended Malaysian dating site

You will find more online girls located on the main Malaysian peninsula, but there are opportunities for romance in North Borneo too. My preference would be to stick with Kuala Lumpur as your dating territory for the same reasons that I recommend Bangkok in Thailand i.e. it’s there that the largest numbers of ladies reside and you won’t need to do much travelling in search of the next girl if the current one fails to impress.

Most tourists visit either Kuala Lumpur or nearby cities on the main peninsula, but the island of Penang is also a good choice. In North Borneo you’ll find that Sabah and Kuching are the main tourist destinations and, of the two, Kuching is regarded as being the liveliest.

Singapore was, for a time, part of the Malaysian federation but it only lasted a few years due to difficulties with integrating the predominantly Chinese population. The island state gained full independence in 1965 and has since built one of the most successful economies in the world with GDP per capita rates far in excess of most western countries. As you can imagine, hooking up with Singaporean girls doesn't usually allow a simple low cost lifestyle…

Malaysian women come with all the social appetites that other Asian girls come with in terms of gaining face and respect from their compatriots. Many families put car ownership at the top of their wish-list even if their accommodation is in dire need of improvement. All self-respecting Malaysian women adorn themselves with gold jewellery if they can afford it, and the latest mobile phone is a must have accessory.

Since English language skills are used in the business environment, knowledge of English actually elevates a person’s class, so one reason why western men are successful with Malaysian women is due to their ability to teach English to their girlfriends. This is also typical of other Southeast Asian countries, but I’d say that it is even more significant in Malaysia.

Malaysian men often travel to Thailand for fun with Thai girls; the wealthier Malaysian women are a bit like western women and can be demanding – keeping a girl happy is sometimes a high maintenance job. Bangkok is a popular retreat, Hat Yai in South Thailand is also popular due to its close proximity to the border.

Living in Malaysia

The overall cost of living in Malaysia is actually lower than it is in Thailand but, as always, it will depend on your lifestyle choices. If you like to spend a lot of time enjoying the nightlife scene you’ll find that alcoholic drinks are expensive. Click the link for more info on the cost of living in Malaysia.

If you head out into the nightlife hoping to meet some bar-girls you’ll be disappointed, but there are quite a few freelance hookers to be found with most of them originating from the usual places e.g. Thailand, Vietnam and the Philippines. The prices that they ask for their companionship are much higher, with some costs more comparable with western prices rather than Asian prices. The same can be said of Kuala Lumpur escort girls.

The good news is that some of the other costs are really cheap; rental costs in Bangkok and Kuala Lumpur are comparable but outside the capital cities Malaysia works out a lot cheaper than Thailand. Comparing Penang with Pattaya, a 1-bedroom apartment in the centre of town can be as much as 50% cheaper and when you consider that utility bills are much lower (almost 40% lower) it’s not hard to work out that a man on a budget can live a very cheap existence here.

Food costs are similar to Thailand, which means you can eat at a low-end restaurant for next to nothing; clothing is cheap, local transport is cheap, gym membership is cheap… Basically, if you are looking for a place to lie low for a while, sober up, and get your body in shape, then Malaysia is a good option that’s worth considering.

Don’t forget that Malaysia is the richest country in Southeast Asia after Singapore, so all this comes with a well-developed infrastructure, reliable hospitals, and good schools for the kids. It is not a great place to go looking for numerous casual relationships, but if you’ve tired of that sort of lifestyle and are looking for somewhere to settle with your girlfriend/wife, Malaysia deserves a look.

I was a little surprised to see that, despite its relatively developed status, it is not regarded as being a particularly safe place. In fact the crime and safety stats relating to Kuala Lumpur are a lot worse than Bangkok and even Manila in the Philippines looks safer!

I have expressed my doubts about these safety stats before, but I lack the personal experience required to cast doubt over the accuracy of stats relating to Malaysia, so I’d advise anyone thinking of staying there for any period of time to look into this more closely. At least I can advise you that the usual gold-digger dangers with Asian girls are less pronounced with Malaysian women…

This lovely petite lady from Bangkok is 28 years old and looking for romance with a westerner. Would you like to meet lots of girls just like her?

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