What's it like dating Langkawi girls
John, an Australian in his late 20s was backpacking through Malaysia and decided to spend two weeks in Langkawi. He was in a food market in Kuah finding it difficult to tell the vendor what he wanted when a girl came over to help with translation. They chatted, exchanged numbers, and agreed to meet again. She was a local girl who had returned home for a long holiday after spending some time working in Kuala Lumpur.
John met her again the next day and they went out for drinks. She came alone, which is unusual on the first date with someone from Malaysia. They had a great time and on the second or third date things went further. Perhaps it’s the beach or the island lifestyle that makes Langkawi girls more laid back in this respect.
The holiday romance was now going at a fast pace. It soon became clear that John wanted more than just a quick fling, but he was also only here for a short time. So, they decided to keep in touch. Their love story is a little unusual. I can understand things being as easy and as smooth as this in Thailand, but not in Malaysia.
The Langkawi Eagle
So, one day over a beer or two, I asked John about how he dated her. For
info, I myself am married to a Malaysian, and I found it to be much
more difficult and complicated than John’s experience, or so I thought.
He told me that they would tend to meet in the bars along the beach.
At times they would sit on the sand and just relax in the evening. She
came back to his room after just a few dates and John thought that this
was because she didn’t want to go home to her family. Presumably this
was to avoid questions of where and with whom she had been...
girl always complained about how her family interfered with her life;
she was expected to behave in accordance with traditional customs. In
fact, arranged marriages weren’t unheard of in Kedah, even for
non-Muslims. After moving away and gaining her freedom it was almost as
if she was rebelling. This is not an uncommon story, other Langkawi
girls are like this too.
To cut a long story short, things worked out. They met again in Kuala Lumpur some time later and after a year something unexpected happened – John asked her to marry him, but it wasn’t the proposal that was the shock.
Langkawi girls and those from Kedah have to follow their family’s wishes and traditions. Dating a foreigner is unheard of and controversial so she kept it all a secret. John found himself engaged to a girl whose family didn’t even know about him!
Something needed to happen; they couldn’t tell her family that
they’re engaged, but marriage is important in Malaysian culture and
saying they’re just together may lose the family’s respect. This is
where the problems and complications started.
It took a long time
to convince the family to accept their engagement and, when it was
finally agreed, John was expected to pay for the wedding, hold an
engagement ceremony, and host another party in their village. Only a few
of John’s family and friends would attend but hundreds of the bride's
would. John had to pay for everything.
This was a major problem
that people often forget when they’re dating Langkawi girls or any other
girl from Malaysia. The cultural difference between the two of you may
seem small, but it’s the differences with the family that start to cause