Ladyboy Dating in Thailand

Ladyboy dating is hugely popular with a section of foreigners visiting Thailand, and no website that provides information about Southeast Asian nightlife, sex and dating for western men would be complete without a section on Thai ladyboys.

Transsexuals are far more visible in Thailand than in other parts of the world, and that's because of the unparalleled tolerance there regarding such matters.

To either find or avoid the online Thai ladyboys you’ll need a site that separates the girls from the boys! Happily for you, there is an excellent site that does just that, and it happens to be:

My recommended Ladyboy dating site

Finding a suitable person for serious romantic commitment in Thailand has one extra complication when it comes to ladyboy dating i.e. where do you find them?

You won’t have any difficulty finding ladyboys in tourist areas, but as with bar girls these people are usually not trustworthy enough to get seriously involved with. On the other hand, if you head out to less well travelled places, you probably won’t come into contact with many ladyboys.

The best solution is to conduct your search online, my recommended dating site has a separate section devoted to ladyboy dating and you’ll find people there that you can have short term fun with or something more serious.

Using a good ladyboy dating site also gives you the benefit of some extra discretion (assuming that you want to keep your private life away from prying eyes… and mobile phone camera/video technology). Always keep in mind that your endeavours in the naughty bars can end up on Facebook or YouTube without your prior consent or even your knowledge!

Thai ladyboysThai ladyboys are just as addicted to their mobile phones as the girls...

Evidence & Reliability

I should point out that the advice I’ve given here has come from a wide number of sources, but those sources do not include my own personal experiences. Ladyboy dating does not suit my personal preferences and I must confess that my romantic interests are strictly limited to women only. I do not believe that this has affected the quality or reliability of any of the advice that I’ve given here.

The advice that I’ll offer has been gathered from:

  • Men with experience of ladyboys
  • The ladyboys themselves
  • An understanding of Thai dating culture
  • A wide reading of the literature on the subject

I hope and believe that it will be of some use to you.

What is a Ladyboy?

This is a simple question that still, on occasion, causes some disagreement. The debate sometimes gets quite heated over whether or not a person’s gender is determined in purely physical terms.

As far as biology is concerned, a ladyboy has both x and y chromosomes and is therefore male. Others argue that gender is about more than biology and that it is a cornerstone of a person’s identity, which is determined by personality.

In simple terms, a ladyboy is a person who is born with a male anatomy but with a female persona. You can decide for yourself whether that makes them male or female, but in Thailand they are simply regarded as belonging to a third sex.

There are even some provisions made for children that identify with belonging to the third sex; some schools provide separate changing rooms and so on.

Most ladyboy dating sites look more like adult sites then genuine dating sites... and I wouldn't advise using them! No worries, you can easily meet regular ladyboys at:

My recommended Ladyboy dating site

Pre-op and Post-op

The terms pre-op and post op refer to whether or not a Ladyboy has undergone full gender reassignment surgery i.e. a vaginoplasty. If you hadn’t already guessed, this surgical procedure entails removal of the mail genitals and construction of genitalia resembling that of a female.

Most of the ladyboys in Thailand are pre-op; this is not always because they prefer not to have the surgery (or can’t afford the estimated 400,000 baht price tag), but rather because most of the men who are interested in ladyboy dating prefer them to be pre-op.

The preference of the Ladyboys themselves will always be to resemble a female as far as possible, but they have to balance that desire against the possible negative effects of a bad surgical procedure (resulting in loss of sensation), the expense, and the loss of some interest from potential boyfriends.

Surgical operations that are much more common are breast and hip implants. These are operations that are universally desirable to all ladyboys and almost all of them in places like Bangkok and Pattaya will have had these operations.

Aside from surgery, virtually all ladyboys will be taking hormone replacement therapy and they will, in many cases, have been doing so from an early age.

Common Terms

You may have heard several different terms used in connection with ladyboys i.e. shemale, katoey, transsexual etc. The accepted term in Thailand is simply ‘ladyboy’, although katoey (the Thai word for ladyboy) is also used.

You should probably not use the term ‘shemale’ as it has got some association with adult movies and it might cause offense. ‘Transsexual’, which again means the same thing except that it could also refer to people born female but identifying themselves as being male (commonly referred to in Thailand as tom-boys), is not a term that is used much.

Pattaya ladyboyOf course, privacy and discretion are of no importance to some guys...

True stories, Massage, and Q&A

For some first account accounts of liaisons with ladyboys, written by expat contributors to the site, have a read through these:
Thai Ladyboy Stories | story 2

Ladyboy massage is a source of much interest to some western men and, if you know where to look, you can easily satisfy your curiosity. Check the link for further details on that.

If you already have a ladyboy girlfriend and have a question that is not answered on this page, you might find what you are looking for clicking the link.

As a note of caution, for those men for whom ladyboys do not appeal, please be sure to treat them with respect. If you do not, something bad will likely result!

There’s something unique about Ladyboy dating

There is one unique factor to consider, regarding ladyboys, that makes Westerners particularly attractive to them; it relates to a problem that is a serious concern for any Thai man who is dating a ladyboy i.e. the wishes of his parents… Even if his parents are accepting of his preferences they will probably still pile on the pressure for him to eventually marry a woman in order that grandchildren can result.

Thai Ladyboy Pics

To see a selection of online ladyboy dating profiles, just click the link:

Thai Ladyboy Pics

thai ladyboy pics

The issue of children takes on an extra importance in Thailand compared to the west and it shouldn’t be underestimated. Ladyboys cannot give birth to children and so there will be nobody to take care of them in their old age, that’s a big concern in a poor country with virtually no welfare state to fall back on, and where most people don’t earn enough money to save for retirement.

The inability to have children makes it rare for Thai men to stay with a ladyboy on a permanent basis, and the lack of a permanent man in their lives means no long-term support from a husband. Whilst in many Western countries adoption might be a possible solution to the problem of starting a family, it is very uncommon in Thailand to adopt.

When it comes to financial problems, Thai ladyboys have got a lot of extra baggage and I’ve no doubt that this accounts for a large part of the over-representation of ladyboys working in red-light areas. To give an idea of the extra strains they face (as well as the whole children/parental problem) here are a few of the issues they have to deal with:

  • There are expensive medical procedures and treatments to pay for. Breast implants, hip implants, nose and jaw restructuring, vocal chord tightening, gender reassignment, hormone replacement treatment etc.
  • The limited prejudices about transsexuals that do exist in Thailand stop many of them from getting good jobs. This is a big problem that almost all Thai ladyboys complain about; even getting an interview, regardless of what qualifications are held, is very difficult.
  • They are less likely than girls to find a foreign man that will take them back to their own countries as permanent partners due to the extra stigma attached to transsexual people in other countries.

All this being the case, it’s almost certain that a significant proportion of ladyboys have given up any hope whatsoever of settling down with a permanent Thai boyfriend, and many of them have turned their attention to the possibility of  a serious relationship with a Western man instead.

The money that a rich westerner might bring is an added incentive of course.

For romance with a ladyboy, the online options are almost certainly your most effective means of finding someone suitable. Why not open a FREE account at:

My recommended Ladyboy dating site

You need to way things up fairly against the possibility that a ladyboy you are dating might purely be interested in you for money alone. When making that judgement call you should also understand that genuine, successful, long-term romantic relationships in Thailand are often formed for practical (as well as emotional) reasons and that this is perfectly acceptable in Thai culture.

Obviously, as Westerners, our culture would have us feel quite disgusted to consider a romantic relationship for practical reasons... these sorts of cultural challenges are usually to blame when relationships turn sour, so my advice is to get accustomed to how things are done in Thailand before you get seriously involved in ladyboy dating.

On the specific issue of ladyboys working in red-light areas I could argue that, since their extra financial hardship is real, there is a greater likelihood that they are more or less forced to work there and would, therefore, be more likely to relish the chance to quit the bar scene altogether if the opportunity came along. Unfortunately, this misses the point.

The problem is that, regardless of why a person is working in the nightlife industry, once the lifestyle takes hold it becomes very difficult to break away from. This is as true for ladyboys as it is for bar-girls and you really should not get into anything serious with someone that has worked in this industry. Don’t go thinking that you can ‘save’ someone from this because, as unfortunate as it is, the track record in this area speaks for itself... only a tiny minority of such relationships survive!

How to spot a Thai ladyboy

The whole recognition thing seems to be a bigger problem for some people than it is for others, some people really struggle to see any difference. With experience it does get easier and after a while you should be able to spot them easily. The main things to look out for are:

Complexion – some ladyboys will not quite have the smooth skin that a female would have and, in order to cover this up, many ladyboys use heavy makeup so that you can’t easily see the natural skin texture. You won’t see any facial hair, some ladyboys use laser treatment to burn hair away at the roots.

Voice tone – being generally of a smaller physical stature than Westerners means that Thai voices are generally softer than Western voices and this sometimes makes it difficult to detect any male overtone but, after a while, you will get better at noticing the difference.

Hands and feet – this is one of the easiest identifying features to look out for. Ladyboys tend to have larger hands and feet than females do and their hands can look more masculine than the long slender hands of a woman.

Broad shoulders – you won’t always see much difference here. Due to the early age at which many ladyboys begin their hormone replacement therapy, broad shoulders have not often developed in time and so you do see feminine bone structures in most of them.

soi 6 ladyboysA few bars in Thailand have a mix of both girls and ladyboys...

Height – you’ll notice that most ladyboys are quite tall compared to the average Thai girl and whilst you can’t draw anything like a firm conclusion about a person gender based on height alone, it is still a factor that is worth adding to the list.

Implants – depending on the skill of the surgeon the end result of breast augmentation can look completely natural or it can look like a couple of inflated balloons. The same can be said of hip implants, where curves sometimes end up overstated.

Movement – believe it or not, this one is a very good and reliable distinguishing factor. Ladyboys almost always have over exaggerated body movements when walking around and with a bit of practise you can see it from a mile away!

Thai Ladyboy Dating Sites

There are lots of Thai Ladyboy dating sites to choose from these days but my advice is to be very selective in decided which one to sign up with.

For the most part the specific sites that target Ladyboy dating alone look to me to resemble adult sites more than anything else. Another issue that might be of concern is that they are often quite small in comparison to the major dating sites in Thailand; the implication being that there are fewer people available to meet up with.

Related Pages

For more information about Thai Ladyboys, click below:

Thai Ladyboy Dating
Bangkok Ladyboys

Chiang Mai Ladyboys
Online ladyboys

Trust is another factor. The major sites are all highly professional and I have no concerns whatsoever in recommending them ladyboy dating, but I’m less convinced by the trustworthiness of these smaller, explicit, sites.

I’m not saying that they are scams, and I’ve no evidence that they are anything other than completely safe, but my instinct tells me to avoid recommending them as they do not have the rock-solid professional reputation that the bigger sites have.

I have been hearing about new Ladyboy dating sites that are in the planning stages. These are intended to be sites that are going after mainstream regular dating rather than the short-term liaisons that the explicit ladyboy sites are catering for, but at present I’m unaware of any that have an established reputation or a sizable client base.

Since I’m unable to recommend a targeted Thai ladyboy dating site, I’m only left with one option i.e. recommending one of the big players in the market. This is not a difficult task because there is only one major dating site in Thailand that has a facility for men seeking ladyboys. I can give you my assurance that my recommended dating site is top-notch and that it has an established client base of ladyboys.

All of the advice and guidance that I have written in my ‘Thai Dating Strategy’ is applicable to you and you really should read up on it before starting your search for a suitable love-interest.

Thai Ladyboy dating is known to be extra risky in terms of finding someone you can put your trust in and there are lots of people online that are looking for wealthy benefactors. I’ve given some suggestions about the sort of things to look out for in my dating strategy; those suggestions apply to ladyboy dating, so do prepare yourself by reading up.

Don't forget, the best place to find a Thai ladyboy, either for something serious or for casual fun, is online at:

My Recommended Thai Dating Site:

Homepage | Main Thai Ladyboys Page

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