Ladyboy dating is hugely popular with a section of foreigners visiting Thailand, and no website that provides information about Southeast Asian nightlife, sex and dating for western men would be complete without a section on Thai ladyboys.
Transsexuals are far more visible in Thailand than in other parts of the world, and that's because of the unparalleled tolerance there regarding such matters.
Finding a suitable person for serious romantic commitment in Thailand has one extra complication when it comes to ladyboy dating i.e. where do you find them?
You won’t have any difficulty finding ladyboys in tourist areas, but as with bar girls these people are usually not trustworthy enough to get seriously involved with. On the other hand, if you head out to less well travelled places, you probably won’t come into contact with many ladyboys.
The best solution is to conduct your search online, my recommended dating site has a separate section devoted to ladyboy dating and you’ll find people there that you can have short term fun with or something more serious.
Using a good ladyboy dating site also gives you the benefit of some extra discretion (assuming that you want to keep your private life away from prying eyes… and mobile phone camera/video technology). Always keep in mind that your endeavours in the naughty bars can end up on Facebook or YouTube without your prior consent or even your knowledge!
I should point out that the advice I’ve given here has come from a wide number of sources, but those sources do not include my own personal experiences. Ladyboy dating does not suit my personal preferences and I must confess that my romantic interests are strictly limited to women only. I do not believe that this has affected the quality or reliability of any of the advice that I’ve given here.
The advice that I’ll offer has been gathered from:
I hope and believe that it will be of some use to you.
This is a simple question that still, on occasion, causes some disagreement. The debate sometimes gets quite heated over whether or not a person’s gender is determined in purely physical terms.
As far as biology is concerned, a ladyboy has both x and y chromosomes and is therefore male. Others argue that gender is about more than biology and that it is a cornerstone of a person’s identity, which is determined by personality.
In simple terms, a ladyboy is a person who is born with a male anatomy but with a female persona. You can decide for yourself whether that makes them male or female, but in Thailand they are simply regarded as belonging to a third sex.
There are even some provisions made for children that identify with belonging to the third sex; some schools provide separate changing rooms and so on.
The terms pre-op and post op refer to whether or not a Ladyboy has undergone full gender reassignment surgery i.e. a vaginoplasty. If you hadn’t already guessed, this surgical procedure entails removal of the mail genitals and construction of genitalia resembling that of a female.
Most of the ladyboys in Thailand are pre-op; this is not always because they prefer not to have the surgery (or can’t afford the estimated 400,000 baht price tag), but rather because most of the men who are interested in ladyboy dating prefer them to be pre-op.
The preference of the Ladyboys themselves will always be to resemble a female as far as possible, but they have to balance that desire against the possible negative effects of a bad surgical procedure (resulting in loss of sensation), the expense, and the loss of some interest from potential boyfriends.
Surgical operations that are much more common are breast and hip implants. These are operations that are universally desirable to all ladyboys and almost all of them in places like Bangkok and Pattaya will have had these operations.
Aside from surgery, virtually all ladyboys will be taking hormone replacement therapy and they will, in many cases, have been doing so from an early age.
You may have heard several different terms used in connection with ladyboys i.e. shemale, katoey, transsexual etc. The accepted term in Thailand is simply ‘ladyboy’, although katoey (the Thai word for ladyboy) is also used.
You should probably not use the term ‘shemale’ as it has got some association with adult movies and it might cause offense. ‘Transsexual’, which again means the same thing except that it could also refer to people born female but identifying themselves as being male (commonly referred to in Thailand as tom-boys), is not a term that is used much.
Ladyboy massage is a source of much interest to some western men and, if you know where to look, you can easily satisfy your curiosity. Check the link for further details on that.
If you already have a ladyboy girlfriend and have a question that is not answered on this page, you might find what you are looking for clicking the link.
As a note of caution, for those men for whom ladyboys do not appeal, please be sure to treat them with respect. If you do not, something bad will likely result!
There is one unique factor to consider, regarding ladyboys, that makes Westerners particularly attractive to them; it relates to a problem that is a serious concern for any Thai man who is dating a ladyboy i.e. even if his parents are accepting of his preferences they will probably still pile on the pressure for him to eventually marry a woman in order that grandchildren can result.
The issue of children is very important and shouldn’t be underestimated; whilst in many Western countries adoption might be a possible solution, this is very uncommon in Thailand. All this being the case, it’s almost certain that a significant proportion of ladyboys have given up any hope whatsoever of settling down with a permanent Thai boyfriend, and many of them have turned their attention to the possibility of a serious relationship with a Western man instead.
Money is an added incentive of course but, in a way, this is understandable because Thai people have traditionally relied on their children to support them in old age (there is no effective social provision for the elderly in Thailand), so most Thai ladyboy are going to have big concerns about their futures since they can’t have children.
You need to way things up fairly against the possibility that a ladyboy you are dating might purely be interested in you for money alone. When making that judgement call, you should also understand that genuine, successful, long-term romantic relationships in Thailand are usually formed more for pragmatic (rather than emotional) reasons and that this is perfectly acceptable in Thai culture.
Obviously, as Westerners, our culture would have us feel quite disgusted to consider a romantic relationship for pragmatic reasons... these sorts of cultural challenges are usually to blame when relationships turn sour, so my advice is to get accustomed to how things are done in Thailand before you get seriously involved in ladyboy dating.
The whole recognition thing seems to be a bigger problem for some people than it is for others, some people really struggle to see any difference. With experience it does get easier and after a while you should be able to spot them easily. The main things to look out for are:
Complexion – some ladyboys will not quite have the smooth skin that a female would have and, in order to cover this up, many ladyboys use heavy makeup so that you can’t easily see the natural skin texture. You won’t see any facial hair, some ladyboys use laser treatment to burn hair away at the roots.
Voice tone – being generally of a smaller physical stature than Westerners means that Thai voices are generally softer than Western voices and this sometimes makes it difficult to detect any male overtone but, after a while, you will get better at noticing the difference.
Hands and feet – this is one of the easiest identifying features to look out for. Ladyboys tend to have larger hands and feet than females do and their hands can look more masculine than the long slender hands of a woman.
Broad shoulders – you won’t always see much difference here. Due to the early age at which many ladyboys begin their hormone replacement therapy, broad shoulders have not often developed in time and so you do see feminine bone structures in most of them.
Height – you’ll notice that most ladyboys are quite tall compared to the average Thai girl and whilst you can’t draw anything like a firm conclusion about a person gender based on height alone, it is still a factor that is worth adding to the list.
Implants – depending on the skill of the surgeon the end result of breast augmentation can look completely natural or it can look like a couple of inflated balloons. The same can be said of hip implants, where curves sometimes end up overstated.
Movement – believe it or not, this one is a very good and reliable distinguishing factor. Ladyboys almost always have over exaggerated body movements when walking around and with a bit of practise you can see it from a mile away!
There are lots of Thai Ladyboy dating sites to choose from these days but my advice is to be very selective in decided which one to sign up with.
For the most part the specific sites that target Ladyboy dating alone look to me to resemble adult sites more than anything else. Another issue that might be of concern is that they are often quite small in comparison to the major dating sites in Thailand; the implication being that there are fewer people available to meet up with.
Trust is another factor. The major sites are all highly professional and I have no concerns whatsoever in recommending them ladyboy dating, but I’m less convinced by the trustworthiness of these smaller, explicit, sites.
I’m not saying that they are scams, and I’ve no evidence that they are anything other than completely safe, but my instinct tells me to avoid recommending them as they do not have the rock-solid professional reputation that the bigger sites have.
I have been hearing about new Ladyboy dating sites that are in the planning stages. These are intended to be sites that are going after mainstream regular dating rather than the short-term liaisons that the explicit ladyboy sites are catering for, but at present I’m unaware of any that have an established reputation or a sizable client base.
Since I’m unable to recommend a targeted Thai ladyboy dating site, I’m only left with one option i.e. recommending one of the big players in the market. This is not a difficult task because there is only one major dating site in Thailand that has a facility for men seeking ladyboys. I can give you my assurance that my recommended dating site is top-notch and that it has an established client base of ladyboys.
All of the advice and guidance that I have written in my ‘Thai Dating Strategy’ is applicable to you and you really should read up on it before starting your search for a suitable love-interest.
Thai Ladyboy dating is known to be extra risky in terms of finding someone you can put your trust in and there are lots of people online that are looking for wealthy benefactors. I’ve given some suggestions about the sort of things to look out for in my dating strategy; those suggestions apply to ladyboy dating, so do prepare yourself by reading up.
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