Indonesian Women, Sex & Dating

Indonesian women are a bit like the undiscovered girls of Southeast Asia in respect of the fact there are fewer western tourists that travel there to meet up with them, and still fewer that like to write up their travel stories for online viewing.

Worse than that, from an information point of view, is that the ladies of Indonesia have a completely different culture to that of most other Asian girls.

Meeting the sexiest Thai ladies for fun times is getting easier and easier to do via the online dating sites. A lot of girls like the extra discretion that is offered on:

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Islam is the dominant religion in Jakarta and throughout the country; Hindu is the dominant religion Bali however, and that just so happens to be the most popular holiday destination for westerns so I’ll add some info about that on other pages.

Buddhism is much rarer than in other South East Asian countries which means that my general dating strategy is somewhat less relevant to the Indonesian women than it is to women in other countries in the region.

On the plus side, the relatively scarce cultural guidance that is available does at least mean that there is more there to be discovered, so the probability of enjoying some new adventures comes into play once/if you tire of Buddhism based cultures.

There is still a lot of relevance to Indonesia in my dating strategy though; religion is only one aspect of culture and much that applies to the South East Asia region as a whole still applies here e.g. respect for elders and family, deference to parents, ultra lovely and feminine girls, and spicy as hell food!

Jakarta is the capital city, but Bali is a better option for nightlife.

There's plenty of fun to be had in Indonesia and us westerners still retain some appeal do our relative rarity here.

Local Information about Indonesian Women

Bali Girls – If it’s a big nightlife orientated destination that you are looking for in Indonesia, then Bali has got to be first on your list of places to go. The scene there is somewhat more like the party scene in the Mediterranean, with young people hooking with other travelers from all over the world. Mega clubs are popular venues for meeting girls, but there is also a P4P scene for meeting local Balinese girls.

Jakarta Nightlife - The capital city is one of the most overlooked and underrated cities in Southeast Asia as far as meeting local ladies is concerned. There's a lively nightlife scene with a good range of opportunities to suit most tastes, and western men are something of a novelty...

Indonesian girls & long-term romance

By Archibald (from Indonesia)

There are many traditional Indonesian girls who are open to the idea of romance with western men, and some of them are located in the north of the island around Lovina beach, an area noted for its dark volcanic sand and sunrise views, and the area that I happened to be visiting.

I had taken the tourist bus to Lovina beach and found a home-stay in the village of Anuran. There is a nice beach-side Reggie bar and a few small warungs (snack food places) along the beach. A few ladies are usually resting on the beach to sell trinkets or give body massages to the few tourists that come by. Here I met Wayan and Nyoman, both ladies who daily walk to the beach to conduct their trade and earn money to take home to their families.

Wayan is a middle aged motherly lady and Nyoman a younger woman with noticeably large breasts and a lot of sex appeal. I was in need of massage and agreed a fee with the mature Wayan to come to my room at the nearby home-stay. In conversation I mentioned that I was seriously interested in meeting Indonesian women for romantic reasons and, couple hours later, there was a knock at my door and a tall slim lady presented herself.

Lovina beach, IndonesiaThere's a time and a place to be a pig, but Lovina beach isn't it!

“I am Ayu. Wayan said you wanted to meet me. I work in the guesthouse next door. I can only stay a short while.” I must say that Ayu was hot and ready to hop into my bed to prove that she could fulfill my sexual desires. We rolled about in bed and on the carpet until her time was up and a girl’s voice outdoors called her to return to work, so off she went leaving me somewhat dazed.

The next time Ayu visited she said I should move over to the family run guesthouse that she worked at. She noted that we would be closer and she could visit me easier when she had work breaks. Later in the day I packed up and moved over into Room 1 in the group of 6 two-roomed cottages complete with balcony overlooking a nice green landscaped lawn and garden. Inside was a large double bed (American mattress) and at the back a toilet and open roofed shower area. This cottage would be my home for the next few months.

I spent a lot of time reading in those days, I still had some Shakespeare plays to check out. Other novels turned up that got left at home-stays. I did not have a cell phone or laptop at that time, it was nice to relax and meditate on the veranda. After lunch Ayu always came for a short-time visit.

By 9pm the restaurant would close, a security person was there and Ayu went away on her 75cc motorbike. I wondered why she did not stay with me at night until I learned that she had a 7 year old daughter that she cared for at her parent’s house. At night I lay in my bed thinking of the day, of Ayu and hearing the plaintive tunes of an all-night café a few blocks away. Here would be some drunken men and a few sexy girls from Java, but I soon drifted off to sleep knowing that Ayu would soon come with my morning sweets.

Engagement, weddings and married life

After we had been together for a few months her family became interested in confirming our relationship, partly out of decency. Indonesian women are no different to other women of the world in this regard so, one day, her mother and father took us to see a local priest. Here a short ceremony was conducted called ‘Septian’ which is like an engagement/betrothal meaning that we are now committed  to each other and sexual activities are condoned.

The next step was to consider where we would live, certainly not in a hotel forever. One could easily rent a nice villa with pool for a year for 5 thousand dollars. However, Ayu and her parents wanted more security than a rental. I expect they felt that their daughter should have a house so that if I left she and her daughter would have something.

As a result an older Balinese house in a village about five miles away was located. It was on 250sqm with two bedrooms, living room, and small kitchen. Outside was a toilet and a garage that could be used for a business. As is normal it had cement block walls around the property and an iron sliding gate that could be locked at night, it cost $12,500. Major renovations were conducted to improve the house by expanding the kitchen and making an inside bathroom with shower. Around September my Indonesian ladies, Ayu and her daughter, moved into our new abode.

One sister-in-law took over the organization of our wedding for 26th June. It involved a visit to a jeweler to have gold rings made with our names and the wedding date engraved inside. As a school teacher Waseka was organized and kept a book of all items and costs (which I appreciated). The event was scheduled for the family guesthouse. Extra chairs were rented for the yard and canvas roof coverings were put up (for rain or sun) and tables set out for a buffet. Another area was set up with offerings for the wedding ceremonies. The main platform of the restaurant was used by the village representatives.

Guests of the family arrived and by 10am our wedding ceremony got underway. I had to accept Hinduism. Next I was taken through some ceremonies that I had missed out on by not growing up in Bali, such as the tiga bulan (3 month) baby ceremony and the Potong giga (tooth filing ceremony) or coming of age. Next came the promises, giving of rings, and numerous prayers by the priest and assistants. Finally, there was the signing of documents and a female tourist from Australia was my witness.

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Our honeymoon took us into the hills of Bali near Mundok to a very nice hotel with a very soft bed with heavy blankets to protect us from the cool nights of the mountains. Our peace was short lived as next day her brother and young wife Moustika arrived to check on us (so it seemed to me). Lovely food, nice relaxation, time together for the newlyweds was soon over and we returned to Anturan and life with an extended Balinese family.

Long-term living arrangements

In our second year I had some funds and it was decided to take Ayu and her daughter (now 10) for a trip to Canada. It was the end of June so I planned on some camping in Ontario before going down to my old homestead in Nova Scotia. In the eastern side of Toronto we checked into the Rouge River Campground and selected a spot. Next we drove up the hill to a Canadian Tire store and purchased a 4-man tent, two sleeping bags and a camp stove and some cooking pots. Along the way we stopped at a No Frills supermarket for our basic groceries for the next few days.

The weather was warm, mosquitoes few and 10 year old Putu soon had a couple of young friends amongst the children campers. Ayu easily adapted to the life of cooking and simple living. Putu was still having bouts of homesickness so I changed our return date to late August - 6 weeks earlier than planned.

Camping life can be relaxing, however, I managed to turn it into a nightmare for Ayu. I was not physically well. For a few months I had been troubled by a gastro intestinal problem, especially of the bowel. Twice I had nearly passed out and often needed quick morning trips to the toilet. Well, one evening I was weak and near fainting at our campsite. An ambulance was called and I was taken away wondering what would happen to me (and them if I did not return). Fortunately, I was evaluated (my Canadian Health Card covered the cost) and a hospital staff member dropped me off at the campground after her shift. Happily we were all together again.

As for my medical problem, tests were done on relevant stool samples and the nasty amoeba were identified. A week or so later in Nova Scotia the proper drug was found and my problem of several months was gone within a few days. In general, I have not been impressed by healthcare in Bali.

At last we arrived at the southern part of Nova Scotia. Ayu carried on with making meals, Putu discovered the joy of raspberries, strawberries, blackberries and blueberries in the overgrown fields.  Wild apple trees were common. We took a trip to the local Sandhills Provinical Park. What a lovely sandy beach! I still have pics of my girls in their swim suits walking on the flats. Oh, memories of Sunday picnics in childhood! Twice weekly we drove some 15 miles away to the major supermarkets at the Passage near my old high school.

Having a 10 year old sleeping with you restricts the sexual act. I remember that we could not stand being apart any longer so went into the living room on the carpet in front of the TV for our pleasures. Did I think of my mother looking down on us at this time? Yes, my father had once slapped me in that room for making a joke with the word ‘nigger’. 

In the end, I did not move on with starting immigration proceedings for my girls. Today I am happy that I am retired and with them in Bali in their familiar surroundings, but if I had still needed to work in the west to make an income, emigrating there would have made more sense.

Serious Relationships

A lot western men are going to have some serious concerns when it comes to marriage to a Muslim lady. I’ve mentioned this elsewhere on my site with respect to Malaysian girls and the same advice applies to Indonesian women.

In short, to marry a Muslim lady you must convert to Islam, you must give up alcohol and pork (at least in the presence of your Islamic in-laws), you may need to get yourself circumcised, and you will need to take part in prayer times at regular intervals. This is fine if it appeals to you, but I think that most of the western world follows a different way of life.

I do believe that Hindu culture is less demanding and won’t entail quite the same overhaul of your lifestyle choices where you to marry into that religion so, if you are headed to Indonesia (Bali in particular) to start a new life then these girls might offer a more attractive long-term relationship proposition.

Bali is particularly popular with Australian travelers.

Remember that another bone of contention – that relating to a dowry payment from you to your Asian in-laws, doesn’t apply to Hindu families. In fact, in Hindu culture the groom traditionally receives a dowry!

The other option with Indonesian women is, of course, to maintain your single status and enjoy all that comes with it. Indonesian women are known for being a lot like Thai girls in terms of their desire for fun and their interest in romance with western men (who they call ‘Bule’), so a single life almost certainly won’t mean a lonely life! 

As far as infrastructure, healthcare, education and all the other things that you take for granted in a developed economy, Indonesia is some way behind Thailand and a long way from the region’s best in Singapore.

If starting a family is your goal then these things matter and you might want to think about an alternative option, Malaysia is still cheap but good, but it comes with other concerns, safety being foremost.

English is not widely spoken in Indonesia, so that can make life a little difficult at times and if you don’t speak the local lingo you might find yourself relying on the help of your lady-friend to translate a lot – that’s assuming that your lady-friend can speak English.

As always the Indonesian women in the capital city Jakarta tend to be more cosmopolitan and will have a better chance of having some English skills, but the other popular tourist destination, Bali, does okay on the communication score too. Stepping outside of these two locations will be a different matter though.

The crime rate is quite tolerable overall and there’s not much difference in safety between Jakarta and Bangkok. Bali, being a popular nightlife scene might have you expecting a high crime rate and significant safety problems but the figures I’ve seen paint a different picture – it’s actually rated as being one of the safest places in South East Asia!

Cost of living in Indonesia

The cost of living in Indonesia varies substantially depending on whether you want to live in the capital city, Jakarta, or not. It is true of other countries that the capital city is relatively more expensive but in Indonesia it’s a lot more. That said, Jakarta is roughly 5% cheaper overall compared to Bangkok.

As with Malaysia, beer and other alcoholic drinks are more expensive, about 30% more, due to the Muslim connection. Jakarta rental costs for apartments are similar to Bangkok.

Bali is a much cheaper option than Jakarta but still more expensive than other locations. Compared to Jakarta, it is almost 25% cheaper overall, with rental costs particularly cheap – a 1 bedroom apartment in the center of Bali can be had for around US$200 per month compared with almost $600 in Jakarta.

Bali is even cheaper than Pattaya, around 10% cheaper overall but, if this isn’t cheap enough for you, then the Island of Batam might suit your budget, a 1 bedroom apartment in the center of town there can be had for less than US$100 per month! Also, Batam is a tourist destination, so there are plenty of bars and girls to keep you happy.

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