By Shane (from Hua Hin)
This story is about two Hua Hin bar girls who I have known for years. Okay, before I get started, I just want to point out the fact that in this story names have been changed in order to protect the privacy of bars and/or girls mentioned.
Other than that, everything you’ll read is true and accurate.
Let me begin by saying that I have been in Thailand permanently since 2003, and even before that I was coming over here on a regular basis for 8 years. I know several guys who have married Hua Hin bar girls and their marriages are doing great. I also know of a few which have ended in disaster.
So, are Hua Hin bar girls any different to the bar girls you can find in other parts of Thailand? Personally, I think they are. To begin with, Hua Hin bar girls are generally nowhere near Pattaya bar girls in terms of looks. They are also far more chilled out, and they are generally also quite a bit older than the bar girls in Bangkok and Pattaya.
Hua Hin only has two small "naughty" areas. The one area is mostly a tourist hangout, while the other is more of an expat area. It was in the touristy area where I first met Som and her friend Nam (not their real names).
When I first met Som she must have been about 43 years old but she looked a lot younger than that. Hey, I did tell you Hua Hin bar girls are often older than the bar girls you’ll find elsewhere in the country. Anyway, I was with my wife when I first met Som, and I instantly took a liking to her. It wasn’t a physical or sexual attraction at all. The two of us just hit it off, and much to my surprise, my wife and her also hit it off.
After that initial meeting I became a regular customer at the bar where she worked, and more often than not my wife would go with me. Most times when we went Som would be alone, or she’d be sitting and chatting with some of the other women in the bar. Even though she is still a very attractive woman it wasn’t often that we saw her with a customer, as a result of her age.
I soon discovered that Som had a Thai husband half her age, but it was a “convenience” marriage. Their marriage was nothing more than a business agreement. I’m not sure of the reasons behind this, but that’s just the way it was. Now, only about a month and a half ago the two of them got officially divorced.
Som is involved in a joint business venture with a number of her family members, and they were concerned that her husband might be a financial risk further down the line, given the fact that he would be entitled to a share of any profits coming in from the business.
I personally don’t think he would be that way inclined though because he appears to be quite well off as far as money is concerned. By the way, he is 100% gay, so the marriage really was for the sake of convenience, for one reason or another. Anyway, the two of them are no longer married, so let’s move on.
As I have said, Som was working in a bar when I first met her, but her age was really counting against her. There was another woman working is the same bar and, like Som, she was a lovely woman but also past her prime. Out of the blue one night their lives were about to change. Two middle-aged German men started hitting on Som and Nam, and by the end of the night the four of them had left the bar together.
The next time I saw the girls, about a month or so later, Som told me that both she and Nam were in a relationship with the two guys that they met that night.
It turns out that one of the guys is a German, while the other is Austrian. Things were looking good for both Som and Nam, and after about six months or so, Nam and the Austrian guy got legally married. Today they live in a housing development just across the road from where I live, and the three of us are good friends, seeing each other on an almost daily basis. I could write an entire book about Nam’s husband because he has quite a personality.
He’s certainly not very popular amongst the locals in our area but I put that down to the fact that he is very much a straight talker; a personality trait which generally doesn’t go down very well in Thailand. Despite his somewhat annoying personality, I still get along with him and he has at least been a good husband to Nam.
For the record – Nam has never shown any interest in going back to the bars. I know her very well and she is the most faithful wife you could imagine; her level of loyalty is not typical of most Hua Hin bar girls, but it is true of Nam.
Som, on the other hand, landed in a very different situation in that she has never legally married the German guy that she met that night. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that he has never agreed to marry her, but they do live together.
Earlier I mentioned that Som was married to a gay Thai man until very recently, and I always assumed that this was the reason for her and the German guy not getting married. Later I learned that her German partner knew nothing of the marriage, and he still doesn’t know that Som only recently got divorced. I guess Hua Hin bar girls have their secrets…
When Som and her German partner first hooked up, they had a cracking relationship, albeit a little strange. I say strange because while he paid and still does pay all the bills, and while he pays for most of the groceries, Som has to work a full-time job in order to have money to spend, and money to buy things for herself. Sadly, their relationship has deteriorated over the years.
They still live together and they still have the same sort of setup, but the flame that was once there has all but died. I personally believe that they are both only continuing with this setup for the sake of their daughter.
I know that she is unhappy in her relationship; for one thing, she and I were to end up in bed together…
I just want to give a brief description of Som’s German partner. I don’t really know him because he NEVER mixes with the locals. You never see him other than when he drives by, usually on his way to 7-Eleven or on his way to see a group of his German friends who get together to play Bridge every Wednesday and Friday night. He is in his late fifties but looks more like he’s in his late sixties.
Som is only a few years younger than him, but she looks and acts like someone half his age. Som is just as much at home among elderly people as she is among young people. She is alive and likes nothing more than a good laugh. I see her virtually every single day in the evenings after she finishes work, and it’s a really good crack with lots of banter and laughter.
On Wednesday and Friday nights her German partner goes out and it’s on these nights that she sometimes has too much to drink. With Som, you can never be sure which way her mood will swing when she’s hammering the whiskey. Sometimes she stays firmly in a happy, party mood, while other times she ends up in tears and consequently pours her heart out to me.
I don’t know why, but I am the only one she confides in. I don’t think anything has happened in her life that I’m not aware of. For example, I know that she was raped twice as a child and both times it was a relative that raped her. I also know that she has only experienced true love once in her life, and that was with another Thai woman who died from cancer shortly before she met her German partner. It was after this loss that she started working in the bar where I first met her.
I honestly don’t have any reason to doubt the things she has told me. I know that just about every bar girl in Thailand can make up stories about unbearable hardships in the hope of getting some money out of you, and I know that the same applies to Hua Hin bar girls. However, Som really has no reason to tell me untrue stories while tears are streaming down her cheeks.
I really feel sorry for her because she never gets any love or appreciation from her partner and her dedication as a mother prevents her from even thinking about getting into a new relationship.
Many times when she’s at the shop she is very withdrawn, listening to music through earphones while she plays with her phone, using image editing apps to create stunning pictures of herself; images of herself looking twenty years younger than she is. It’s almost as if she is desperately trying to block out the reality of her life. I’m not a psychiatrist but I think she is lonely in the true sense of the word; she desperately wants to feel loved and needed.
On other occasions she has asked me if I feel like going out, and we head off into town and we spend the night at the bar where she used to work. If I was in Pattaya I wouldn’t want to do this very often, but the Hua Hin nightlife is more laid back and if it’s clear that you are not out to pick up a girl the bar girls generally don’t try to change your mind, so you’re actually able to enjoy yourself more.
About a year ago while I was in town one morning, my phone rang and it was Som. She wanted to know if I would like to join her for a coffee, and since the place where she was sitting was just around the corner from where I was I accepted her offer. After a cup of coffee things sort of changed. I went to the toilet and when I returned there was a beer on the table. Usually, I don’t drink at all in the mornings, but I could tell that Som really needed someone to talk to.
Som was telling me that sometimes she gets so lonely and that she is so bored with her life. Time passed and after lots of alcohol there was absolutely no way either of us could ride our motorcycles back home, so she suggested getting a room at a hotel across the road.
Once we got inside the room she grabbed a towel and went for a shower, coming out with only a towel wrapped around herself. My suspicions about Som’s intentions grew stronger when she casually asked me if I could give her back a massage.
I’m a guy for goodness sake! How can I give a good looking woman a massage, and not get aroused by it, especially when it was time for me to do the back of her thighs? After a good while she let out a little laugh and asked me if I want to massage the front as well. I’m sure you know what my answer was. Anyway, I think it is rather obvious what happened next. Let me just say this; Som has the body of a woman half her age.
Afterwards neither of us said much, other than Som asking me to promise her that I will never speak about it to any of the people we know. To her it was just an opportunity to escape, even if only for a little while, with a guy/person she knows she can trust. For me it was just an out of the blue experience – nothing more and nothing less.
Does Som ever go back to the bar where she worked in the hope of being able to pick up a guy for the night? No, she definitely does not. Have she and I ever slept together since that first time? No, but it has come close on one or two occasions. We are still great friends and I’m sure we will always be friends, and only friends.
So, there you have it; the story of two Hua Hin bar girls that left that life behind them years ago, never to return.
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