Bangkok Women; possessive or not?
By Axel (from Prachuap)
I was young but a number of Bangkok women and I had racked up a few good experiences by the time of my 8th visit to the kingdom. Now though, I was about to experience something that I had managed to avoid so far — just how possessive some of the ladies can be...
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After months of working and saving up money in Europe, I thoroughly
enjoyed the freedom of walking on Thai soil. The warm weather alone was
reason enough to part with the miserable European winter; leave alone
the beautiful Bangkok women, the exotic food and the easy-going Thai
One day around lunch time, I met a lovely Thai girl at
McDonald's. The restaurant was really busy and all the tables were
occupied, so she asked if she could sit at my table. She looked great,
had straight, long shiny hair and was in her mid-twenties. Her
professional outfit showed off her slender body in a tasteful way. As
far as I was concerned, she could have been a Thai Barbie doll.
nickname was Ao and she loved to speak English. Even though Ao had been
to university, her English skills were still quite basic. Most of the
time she just laughed and smiled, her smile was so sweet. Ao was on
lunch break but, before she dashed off to her office, she jotted down
her mobile phone number for me. When she handed me the small piece of
paper, she blushed and said, "You call me." I said I would get in touch
with her, and I meant it! Bangkok girls are usually quite shy but, if they like you, they'll happily share their mobile numbers.
I really wanted to contact her that
same evening, but since I didn't want to come across as totally
desperate I texted her the following afternoon. She replied and asked me
to call her that evening. I did and we were soon talking and laughing,
what a buzz! In less than a week, I had gone from sick and tired of
Europe, to naturally high in Bangkok women...
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Ao told me that she hadn't had a boyfriend for quite some time, but that she was longing for someone special. I replied "Chen gan," which means me too. Ao really liked it whenever I tried to speak Thai.
In the days to come we met for lunches after which I would accompany her back to her office. This is how I was introduced to some of her colleagues, a group of classy Bangkok women. They were all well-educated and dressed to kill.
I will never forget the first kiss with Ao. We met up at her office after she had finished her evening shift. Her car was parked on the 3rd or 4th floor and as we sat down in it and closed the doors we were alone for the very first time. She didn't start the engine, instead she smiled and asked, "What we do?" That's when the magic began.
The following month, my Thai sweetheart would spend a few nights a week in my hotel room. Our relationship was smooth as silk. Ao really enjoyed just talking and laughing. Sometimes she wrote down useful English phrases. Other times, I tried to learn new Thai words.
I recall an amusing afternoon in China Town after we stumbled across a Sikh temple; an Indian man at the entrance invited us to attend a wedding being held there. Out he comes with the bright orange head scarfs for us to put on, which we did, and we simply looked ridiculous… It never took too much trouble to get Ao and I laughing at each other, and this occasion was no exception. Ao and I had a great times together.
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How Possessive Are Bangkok Women?
Since Ao worked 5 days per week, I had all the time in the world. When she was at the office I would have a look around Bangkok, or just hang out with friends from the hotel. Whenever I walked around town I would switch off the sound on my mobile phone. The traffic was so loud, it wasn't pleasant to talk on the phone and if Ao called me whilst I was out and about I’d return the call when I got back to the hotel. That never really sat well with her!
She’d question why I hadn't answered her calls. I tried to explain but it never sank in. She was obviously worried that I was meeting other Bangkok women and she was being a bit too possessive about the whole thing for my taste. As a westerner, I enjoy my freedom and if the city traffic is really loud, or if I simply want to be alone with my thoughts for a while, I switch off the sound on my phone without a second thought.
To me, honesty and loyalty are a natural part of any relationship; perhaps Ao had been burned by other men. I knew that she had never been with a westerner before, which probably meant that her former Thai boyfriends had cheated on her.
My Thai girlfriend and I had been a couple for just over a month when I went over to Phuket for a week to spend time with an old pal from the US. Tony and I had worked together in the Pacific and, when I received his email about his 2-week Thai holiday, I had to go to see him. Ao wasn't happy about my plans but I told her that I wanted to spend some time with my old friend. I also assured her that we could talk on the phone every day.
Even though the bus left Bangkok on a Saturday evening, Ao didn't come to see me off. That was her way of protesting. Early in the morning, at the other end, Tony met me with a big grin on his face.
Tony and I toured around Phuket in a rental car. We went to plenty of beaches and restaurants, and spent time at the hotel. My mobile was switched on all the time and my girlfriend called several times a day, to check on me. On the phone Ao acted really suspicious; she wanted to know every place we had been to, and everyone we had spent time with. Being a nice guy I let her speak to Tony, more than once, but not even that put her mind to rest. It soon became a drag to talk to her. She simply didn't trust me.
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After one of those calls, Tony asked, "Are all Bangkok women that possessive?"
The situation got even worse when I decided to extend my stay for a night... Tony and I had met a French guy who was the chief engineer of a 5-star hotel, and he had invited us to spend the day at the hotel. I called Ao and told her about the change of plans. She must have thought that I had met another woman because, in an angry voice, she said "I don't want you come back Bangkok!" At that stage I had had enough of Bangkok women and their possessive ways. Anyhow, I kept my cool and let her know that I would contact her when I was on my way back to the capital.
The Dusit Thani Laguna Phuket was an impressive hotel, right on the beach. Tony and I enjoyed complimentary drinks at the pool and a wonderful Italian lunch with our host, Jean-Pierre. The day was rounded off with a tour of the hotel's villas, grand!
Early the following morning, Tony drove me to the bus station in Phuket town. It had been a fantastic 8 days. I boarded the bus and slowly made my way back to Bangkok.
That evening, Ao met me at the Southern Bus Terminal. She didn't look especially excited to see me and even though things between us did get better over the next couple of weeks, her possessive nature killed the spontaneity and fun. In the end, we went our separate ways.
Not all Bangkok women are possessive, that's just my personal experience...
Editorial Note: This, in my opinion, is a classic example of attaching western values to a Thai situation. Bangkok women might sometimes seem overly possessive in western eyes, but things are different in Thailand. If you had stuck to the original 7 days and been more proactive in demonstrating that you actually cared for her, and was actually missing her, you’d probably have had a much more relaxed Thai lady on your hands.