Bali Women & long-term romance
By Archibald (from Indonesia)
There are many traditional Bali women who are open to the idea of romance with western men, and some of them are located in the north of the island around Lovina beach, an area noted for its dark volcanic sand and sunrise views, and the area that I happened to be visiting.
Many a western man has fallen for the charms of the ladies they meet in Indonesia, they are amongst the sweetest and sexiest that you will find anywhere.
See my Recommended Indonesian Dating site
I had taken the tourist bus to Lovina beach and found a homestay in the village of Anuran. There is a nice beachside Reggie bar and a few small warungs (snack food places) along the beach. A few ladies are usually resting on the beach to sell trinkets or give body massages to the few tourists that come by. Here I met Wayan and Nyoman, both ladies who daily walk to the beach to conduct their trade and earn money to take home to their families.
Wayan is a middle aged motherly lady and Nyoman a younger woman with noticeably large breasts and a lot of sex appeal. I was in need of massage and agreed a fee with the mature Wayan to come to my room at the nearby homestay. In conversation I mentioned that I was seriously interested in meeting Bali women for romantic reasons and, couple hours later, there was a knock at my door and a tall slim lady presented herself.
“I am Ayu. Wayan said you wanted to meet me. I work in the guesthouse next door. I can only stay a short while.” (Short-time is slang that Bali women use for a sexual rendezvous at a hotel for about one hour.) I must say that Ayu was hot and ready to hop into my bed to prove that she could fulfil my sexual desires. We rolled about in bed and on the carpet until her time was up and a girl’s voice outdoors called her to return to work, so off she went leaving me somewhat dazed.
There's a time and a place to be a pig, but Lovina beach isn't it!
The next time Ayu visited she said I should move over to the family run guesthouse that she worked at. She noted that we would be closer and she could visit me easier when she had work breaks. Later in the day I packed up and moved over into Room 1 in the group of 6 two-roomed cottages complete with balcony overlooking a nice green landscaped lawn and garden. Inside was a large double bed (American mattress) and at the back a toilet and open roofed shower area. This cottage would be my home for the next few months.
I spent a lot of time reading in those days, but not about Bali women, I still had some Shakespeare plays to check out. Other novels turned up that got left at homestays. I did not have a cell phone or laptop at that time, it was nice to relax and meditate on the veranda. After lunch Ayu always came for a short-time visit.
By 9pm the restaurant would close, a security person was there and Ayu went away on her 75cc motorbike. I wondered why she did not stay with me at night until I learned that she had a 7 year old daughter that she cared for at her parent’s house. At night I lay in my bed thinking of the day, of Ayu and hearing the plaintive tunes of an all-night café a few blocks away. Here would be some drunken men, Bali women, and a few sexy girls from Java but I soon drifted off to sleep knowing that Ayu would soon come with my morning sweets.
‘Bule’, as Caucasian men are referred to in Indonesia, get a lot of female attention. They are considered exotic and adventurous, and the girls love that on:
My recommended Indonesian dating site
Bali women, engagement, weddings and married life...
After we had been together for a few months her family became interested in confirming our relationship, partly out of decency. Indonesian women are no different to other women of the world in this regard so, one day, her mother and father took us to see a local priest. Here a short ceremony was conducted called ‘Septian’ which is like an engagement/betrothal meaning that we are now committed to each other and sexual activities are condoned.
The next step was to consider where we would live, certainly not in a hotel forever. One could easily rent a nice villa with pool for a year for 5 thousand dollars. However, Ayu and her parents wanted more security than a rental. I expect they felt that their daughter should have a house so that if I left she and her daughter would have something.
As a result an older Balinese house in a village about five miles away was located. It was on 250sqm with two bedrooms, living room, and small kitchen. Outside was a toilet and a garage that could be used for a business. As is normal it had cement block walls around the property and an iron sliding gate that could be locked at night, it cost $12,500. Major renovations were conducted to improve the house by expanding the kitchen and making an inside bathroom with shower. Around September my Bali women, Ayu and her daughter, moved into our new abode.
One sister-in-law took over the organization of our wedding for 26th June. It involved a visit to a jeweller to have gold rings made with our names and the wedding date engraved inside. As a school teacher Waseka was organized and kept a book of all items and costs (which I appreciated). The event was scheduled for the family guesthouse. Extra chairs were rented for the yard and canvas roof coverings were put up (for rain or sun) and tables set out for a buffet. Another area was set up with offerings for the wedding ceremonies. The main platform of the restaurant was used by the village representatives.
Guests of the family arrived and by 10am our wedding ceremony got underway. I had to accept Hinduism. Next I was taken through some ceremonies that I had missed out on by not growing up in Bali, such as the tiga bulan (3 month) baby ceremony and the Potong giga (tooth filing ceremony) or coming of age. Next came the promises, giving of rings, and numerous prayers by the priest and assistants. Finally, there was the signing of documents and a female tourist from Australia was my witness.
Our honeymoon took us into the hills of Bali near Mundok to a very nice hotel with a very soft bed with heavy blankets to protect us from the cool nights of the mountains. A wedding night after the stresses must be a climax for many Bali women... Our peace was short lived as next day her brother and young wife Moustika arrived to check on us (so it seemed to me). Lovely food, nice relaxation, time together for the newlyweds was soon over and we returned to Anturan and life with an extended Balinese family.
Long-term living arrangements with my Bali women
In our second year I had some funds and it was decided to take Ayu and her daughter (now 10) for a trip to Canada. It was the end of June so I planned on some camping in Ontario before going down to my old homestead in Nova Scotia. In the eastern side of Toronto we checked into the Rouge River Campground and selected a spot. Next we drove up the hill to a Canadian Tire store and purchased a 4-man tent, two sleeping bags and a camp stove and some cooking pots. Along the way we stopped at a No Frills supermarket for our basic groceries for the next few days.
The weather was warm, mosquitoes few and 10 year old Putu soon had a couple of young friends amongst the children campers. Ayu easily adapted to the life of cooking and simple living. Putu was still having bouts of homesickness so I changed our return date to late August - 6 weeks earlier than planned.
Camping life can be relaxing, however, I managed to turn it into a nightmare for Ayu. I was not physically well. For a few months I had been troubled by a gastro intestinal problem, especially of the bowel. Twice I had nearly passed out and often needed quick morning trips to the toilet. Well, one evening I was weak and near fainting at our campsite. An ambulance was called and I was taken away leaving my Bali women alone and wondering what would happen to me (and them if I did not return). Fortunately, I was evaluated (my Canadian Health Card covered the cost) and a hospital staff member dropped me off at the campground after her shift. Happily we were all together again.
As for my medical problem, tests were done on relevant stool samples and the nasty amoeba were identified. A week or so later in Nova Scotia the proper drug was found and my problem of several months was gone within a few days. In general, I have not been impressed by healthcare in Bali.
At last we arrived at the southern part of Nova Scotia. Ayu carried on with making meals, Putu discovered the joy of raspberries, strawberries, blackberries and blueberries in the overgrown fields. Wild apple trees were common. We took a trip to the local Sandhills Provinical Park. What a lovely sandy beach! I still have pics of my Bali women in their swim suits walking on the flats. Oh, memories of Sunday picnics in childhood! Twice weekly we drove some 15 miles away to the major supermarkets at the Passage near my old high school.
Having a 10 year old sleeping with you restricts the sexual act. I remember that we could not stand being apart any longer so went into the living room on the carpet in front of the TV for our pleasures. Did I think of my mother looking down on us at this time? Yes, my father had once slapped me in that room for making a joke with the word ‘nigger’.
In the end, I did not move on with starting immigration proceedings for my Bali women. Today I am happy that I am retired and with them in Bali in their familiar surroundings, but if I had still needed to work in the west to make an income, emigrating there would have made more sense.