Vietnamese Girls & Western Men

You’ll probably find that Vietnamese girls tend to be a bit slimmer, fairer skinned, and slightly taller than other Southeast Asian girls tend to be. Whereas in some parts of the region you need to do some footwork to unearth the local lovelies, in Vietnam it seems like good looks are the norm. I think that it has something to do with the near total absence of overweight people, the vast majority of ladies in Vietnam have fit, slim and sexy physiques.

If you want a serious relationship, most Vietnamese ladies are happy to leave their own country to live with their soul-mates. They are feminine and sweet and on:

My recommended Vietnam dating site

Attracting Vietnamese ladies

With regard to regular Vietnamese girls, as compared to regular Thai girls, I’d say that the differences in dating culture between the two are barely perceptible to the inexperienced eye. There are some significant differences in daily life with Vietnamese women, but their romantic priorities are similar. To learn more on this, I’d advise you to have a read of my Thai dating section, because it is highly applicable to the lovely ladies of Vietnam.

Casual sex with regular local ladies is hard to come by in Vietnam but, as is always the case, there are working-girls to be found (see below for details). This will, however, be a relatively expensive option by Southeast Asian standards. If you do score with a regular lady, she’ll likely be a desperately poor girl (of which, admittedly, there are many) who is clinging on to the hope that by giving you what you want you’ll end up marrying her at some point in the future.

The point is that, as far as romance is concerned, Vietnamese girls are only a good option for those guys who are serious in their long-term commitment intentions. If it is casual short-term fun that you are looking for then any of Thailand, Cambodia or the Philippines are much better places to go looking for action.

Street food in Hanoi, and yes, it can get cold in the north of Vietnam...

Dating Etiquette

During the course of a first date, assuming that you like the girl, you need to let her know that you are a serious contender for something permanent i.e. you should make her aware that you have got the necessary financial resources to provide for a wife/family. I’m not suggesting that you turn up to your date with your bank statement in hand, these things need to be handled in a subtle manner, but it does need to be done. Once it is done, leave the subject alone and don’t repeat it.

The reason for this is that, as stated above, decent Vietnamese girls are not looking for casual encounters with western men. They are invariably looking for potential husbands, so casually let her know that you have the practical means of supporting her in the event that the two of you hit it off. You don’t need to hit it off immediately and declare your undying love at the end of your first date, but she needs to know that she isn’t wasting her time on someone who simply isn’t capable of providing for a family.

If things go well and you start to see each other on a regular basis, be aware that things will not immediately progress to the bedroom. A regular Vietnamese girl will even be scared of calling you her boyfriend in public because, in the event of a breakup, everyone will assume that she has had sex with you. Virginity is still highly prized in Vietnam and, whilst things are slowly changing, there are still lots of brides that are virgins up until their wedding night.

You need to understand this; losing her virginity will seriously harm her desirability to Vietnamese men, and that can have very serious consequences that will last a lifetime if it were to cause her to miss out on another suitor just because of a previous relationship with a westerner. Patience is necessary if you want success, but there are limits and she will know full-well that you are not going to wait until your wedding night to do the dirty deed. You will, however, usually need to wait until she is sure that the two of you are going to end up married.

Some Vietnamese university students in traditional dress

Noteworthy points about Vietnamese girls

  • Cash gifts are perfectly acceptable in Vietnamese culture, and they will be very happily received… Even a modest gift for your girl of a couple of hundred U.S. dollars will get your girl looking at you with a lot of admiration and gratitude, and it’s the sort of thing that will bring you some bedroom prizes because it will convince her that you are interested in her for the long haul. Don’t abuse this tactic though, if you are not interested in the long haul then don’t deceive her – remember that she’s putting a lot on the line by formalizing her girlfriend status for you.
  • Vietnamese girls are often perfectly happy with the idea of leaving their homes for a new life overseas; many of them have been leaving South Vietnam since the fall of Saigon in 1975 and most western countries have a sizable Vietnamese community because of it. The presence of these Viet expats in your country is one of the reasons why she will feel quite at ease with the idea of leaving her homeland – she may well even know some people that already live in your country.
  • Once you find a girl that has fallen for your charms, you’ll need to do a bit of forward planning about where you intend to carry out your nocturnal activities. Taking her back to your hotel might not be possible because it is actually illegal for her to stay with you in your room (unless you are married to her of course). A simple solution to this is to give the Vietnamese girls that you score with a little money so that they can book their own rooms. You’ll have to do some covert room-hopping once you are both settled into your respective rooms, but that won’t be too difficult to manage.
  • Vietnamese girls tend not have any deep religious convictions. According to Wikipedia, Vietnam is one of the least religious countries in the world. Contraceptives are readily available and there is no risk of the state religion getting involved in your family planning preferences were you to get a girl pregnant. If this happened and the two of you decided that an abortion would be the best way forward then you won’t be refused this option, these things are not uncommon and safety standards are high.
  • As a final point about Vietnamese girls, I’ll repeat something that I’ve stressed on my pages about Thai girls, and that is that on no account should you allow yourself to lose your temper… ever. In a culture that you are not familiar with there will no doubt be countless frustrations and misunderstandings, but losing control of your emotions will mark you out as some sort of defective adult. Worse than that, if the local people take offense, then things can easily escalate out of control. Just relax, be patient, and good things will to come to you.

Finding a long-term love interest in Vietnam is easy to do if you take your time and enjoy a courtship. The ladies of Vietnam are seeking permanent relationships on:

My recommended Vietnam dating site


Vietnamese prostitution

Vietnamese Escorts Explained – there are some significant differences between the escort scene in Vietnam and Thailand, most notably in terms of availability, price, and variety. There are also some differences in legality that you should be aware of. For information on all of this and more, have a read of this page.

Vietnamese Hookers in bars – the bar scene in Vietnam is tiny in comparison to the big tourist focused nightspots in Thailand, but there are some options that are worth a look. The sort of experiences that you’ll have with Vietnamese girls in bars are more likely to be short-term in nature, so you’re less likely to get scammed by a long-game gold-digger.

Saigon Prostitution – without a doubt the main centre of the illicit trade industry in Vietnam is in the southern capital. Western men, notably American GIs during the Vietnam War, have been visiting the city’s various houses of ill repute since the 1970s. However, the red light district is still tiny in comparison to what you’ll find in Thailand’s naughty nightlife destinations.

Attitudes towards westerners

One of the big concerns that can put people off visiting Vietnam is the worry that there is some sort of lingering resentment towards westerners over the withdrawal of troops during the Vietnam War. This is a complete nonsense; even the North Vietnamese have no lasting negative thoughts about us, they consider it all to be in the past. In South Vietnam there is actually a widespread appreciation for the efforts that the west took to protect it from communism.

Local Info & Stories

For a better understanding of how things are in Vietnam, have a read of these readers' articles:

Saigon Nightlife
Saigon Massage
Saigon Girls
Hanoi Ladyboy Story
Hanoi Girls
Da Nang Girls

This, of course, is not the official line which insists that southerners are happy to be rid of the Americans, but that doesn’t seem to square with what you hear when you get to Saigon. By the way, locals refer to the southern capital as Saigon, nobody calls it by its official name ‘Ho Chi Minh city’. There is resentment in Vietnam, but it is firmly between the North and South of the country, so western visitors have no reason to be concerned.

It is probably a good idea to avoid mentioning the war at all, in case of inadvertently causing offense. Some westerners have taken an almost apologetic stance for messing the country up by being there at all, but that stance will not sit well with the southerners, they don’t regret resisting communism and if they get the impression that you do then they won’t like it. Northerners on the other hand won’t expect you to feel one way or another about it, it is ancient history as far as they are concerned so my advice is to leave the past alone.

If you are expecting to be greeted everywhere you go by beaming instantaneous smiles on the faces of Vietnamese girls as soon as you make an appearance, then you might be disappointed. Only Thailand is known as the land of smiles, the other Asian countries are less forthcoming with such outward friendliness, but much of what you see in Thailand is superficial anyway. The Vietnamese are a very friendly people once you dig beneath the surface.

Cost of living

There is good news and bad news on the expenses side of things when it comes to romance with Vietnamese girls. The country as a whole is one of the poorest in Asia, with average income per head less than half that in Thailand so, as you’d expect, this makes a lot of things cheaper than they are in other countries.

In Saigon the overall cost of living is something like 20% cheaper than it is in Bangkok, and Hanoi is a little cheaper still. The bad news is that there is quite a lot of variability in the individual cost of things so, depending on what your intentions are, you might find your budget doesn’t stretch quite as far as you’d hoped.

There’s cause for celebration if you are a budding alcoholic; a half-litre bottle of domestic beer sold in a Saigon bar or restaurant costs less than a dollar on average. On the flip side, as you’ll read on my pages about escorts and hookers (see links above), the typical cost of a naughty nightlife rendezvous that you might have in Vietnam is quite a lot higher than it would be in any of Thailand, Cambodia or the Philippines. For more cost details, click here.

For indescribable luxury at affordable prices, have a look at this hotel:


The

Banyan Tree, Bangkok

The rooftop bar isn't too shabby either!


Other Considerations

Crime levels are low in Vietnam and you need not have any major concerns about wandering the streets at night. The only significant risk entails bag-snatchers and pickpockets. I’ve heard many tales about thieves on motorbikes whereby two guys on a bike approach you from behind and one of them grabs the strap of anything you are carrying over your shoulder – so be wary of that.

The pickpockets to be wary of also approach you on a motorbike but they tend to be women flaunting their charms. A group of them might pull up to you and start groping you in an intimate fashion; the next thing you know they’re darting off with all your valuables in their possession!

Corruption exists just as it does elsewhere, but you will get the impression that it is completely absent. Unlike Thailand, where police will often scam you for money for non-existent traffic offenses and the like, the Vietnamese tend to leave westerners in peace.

One problem that you might have is trouble being understood. In Saigon and the major tourist locations you’ll be fine, but step away from those areas and you’ll discover that English language skills are poor. Additionally, local Vietnamese girls that have a good command of the English language are even more likely to be working-girls than would be the case in Thailand. The best way to meet regular girls that have English skills is to go after University educated girls online, my recommended Vietnamese dating site will help with that.

I have read from numerous unrelated, but reliable, sources that successfully dating Vietnamese girls has many similarities with dating in China. The girls can be won over by approaching them almost like an older protective brother; pander to them and take care of them in this fashion and you’ll soon have a doting girlfriend on your hands…

Most visitors to Vietnam report that the food there is the best in Asia; cheap and absolutely delicious, although the range of dishes that westerners tend to like is not as wide as in some Asian countries.

If you have already tried Vietnamese food that was prepared in a different country, and been unimpressed by it, you may well find that the home-produced variety is much better. Vietnamese girls are almost universally skilled at cooking and, early in your relationship, you’ll no doubt be invited to some home-cooked delights. If that invitation entails meeting her parents then you should accept it; meeting the parents has all the same implications in Vietnam as it does in Thailand i.e. it’s a serious statement that you intend a permanent life together, so go prepared.

If you take your time to explore Vietnam, you’ll find a country with friendly people and stunningly beautiful scenery that can rival any of the most beautiful scenic destinations in Asia. Halong Bay in the north is indescribably beautiful, and there are many pristine beach resorts to choose from, Nha Trang being my top-tip due to its relatively lively nightlife. All in all, there is plenty here to recommend Vietnamese girls as a worthy option to consider in your Asian romantic endeavours.

This sweet young lady is only 19 years old and she comes from Hanoi, the capital of Vietnam in the North.

To find more girls just like her, have a look at:

My recommended Vietnam dating site