Depending on your previous experience with Thai dating, and the particular sort of ladies that you have encountered, you will find the information in this section is essential if you are looking for a successful long-term relationship. I’ll state up front that for most westerners there is a very warped opinion about the virtues of Thai girls and their suitability for serious romance. This is due to the influence of bar girl experiences in shaping our thoughts.
A major selling point of the dating sites is that you can travel alone and easily arrange to meet up with girls before you get to Thailand. The best sites to use for this are:
You wouldn’t judge all western girls by the standard of behaviour that you’ll find from the most unfortunate communities in western society; where absent fathers, drug abuse, high truancy from school, anti-social behaviour, vandalism, high rates of teenage pregnancy, high unemployment and all sorts of other problems are the norm.
In these places you’ll find prostitution, and the behaviour of the girls that work as prostitutes there bears little resemblance to what you’ll find in more fortunate communities.
With Thai dating it is much less obvious to us westerners that there is an equally strong divide as to which Thai girls are best suited to successful long-term romance. An understanding of Thai dating culture is essential if you want success.
Here is an overview of the main cultural differences that you will need to navigate; for a closer look, just click on the relevant link to go to a dedicated page:
Etiquette - As a foreigner visiting the land of smiles you'll no doubt want to maintain friendly relations with the local people. This won't be at all difficult in such a tolerant country but if you really want to impress, or just avoid making yourself look a bit foolish, then some basic pointers about how to conduct yourself might be useful. Thai women are usually quite easily embarrassed, and you might inadvertently cause some minor offense if you don't know the basics, so this page will help with that.
Financial Obligations - The role of money is going to feature a lot when it comes to romance in Thailand; there simply is no such thing as free Thai dating. If there is one cultural difference that you really need to get to the bottom of it is this one. If you don't get to grips with it, you are going to feel like you are being taken advantage of. Once you do get a handle on it, you'll feel as though a shroud of mystery has been lifted, but then you might go too far and start thinking that you aren't being taken advantage of even when you are.
Family Hierarchy and Ga Tan Yoo - This is another difficult one to get to grips with, but it is one that your girl will take extremely seriously. Where we in the west like to see every individual as being equal, and defined more by their actions than their birth, this simply is not how Thais view society. Thai society is very much hierarchical and status is important. The family unit is not excused from this hierarchy and your girl will pay deference to her parents. The question is... where do you fit into that hierarchy, and can you live with it?
Nam Jai - This is an important concept and you, as the rich westerner, will be delighted to know that it relates to generosity and how you will be expected to demonstrate it on a regular basis! Again it is easy to think you're being taken advantage of but, if you have found a regular decent lady, you needn't worry.
Attitudes towards sex - you might be thinking that Thai women have very liberal attitudes towards intimacy, given the naughty nightlife antics that go on in some tourist focused areas, but step away from those tourist areas and you'll discover a very conservative country at heart. In many ways traditional values in this area resemble the values that existed in the west during our grandparents’ lifetimes.
Public Behaviour and 'Saving Face' - There are strict rules to follow regarding your romantic behaviour in public, and you need to be aware of them otherwise you can easily cause serious embarrassment for your girl if you overstep the line. You'll have more success if you can comfort them with the idea that they won't lose face in your company.
Thai Marriages - I've included information about marriage as it is quite a common progression. Marriage here is every bit as significant as it is in the west, and despite the horror stories that you may have heard, divorce rates between westerners and Thais are actually lower than they are with all-western marriages.
The dating sites do offer a serious option for finding the perfect companion, but you should be prepared to meet lots of less trustworthy ladies before meeting the right one. You'll find that my recommended sites (see link below for specific sites) are market leading sites with a huge excess of ladies looking for western boyfriends compared to how many western men are actually in Thailand and looking for a girlfriend... which does make matters much easier!
You should be aware that a lot of what you write in emails and instant chat services will probably get read by other Thai people. Remember that English is not well spoken or read, so the online girls often have someone to help with translation. This should not be a concern though; successful online dating will need to be done in a calm and respectable manner, which means that you shouldn't type any messages that would embarrass you if other people were to read them!
The dating game is started online more and more as time goes by. A few years ago a person would have been quite embarrassed to admit that he/she met their partner on the internet rather than in person, but the world is changing and as we all get busier and busier, online dating has become an easy, efficient, time saving, mainstream means of meeting people. It works well too... if you know what to look out for.
If you don’t know what to look out for, make sure that you pay close attention to the advice given via the links below because there are lots of naughty girls online that will try to sucker you into a relationship with them. If that happens, you’ll be in danger of some unwanted grief coming your way. If you are looking for a Thai lady to get involved with and you are not actually in Thailand, it may well be that the online dating option is your only viable option. Whilst there are some risks involved in terms of the trustworthiness of the girls you’ll meet online, I’d say that it is far better to go the online route than to head off to a bar in Pattaya, Bangkok or other tourist area in search of a lady for a relationship.
Online dating sites in Thailand are getting bigger and better. The number of regular, decent, trustworthy Thai girls using these sites is higher than ever, see for yourself on:
If you have ever used a dating site in a western country, one that is aimed at western men meeting western women, you may well have a negative impression of the online dating scene. Western dating sites tend to disappoint most people and getting any response at all from the ladies is sometimes a challenge in itself.
You can rest assured that Thai dating sites are a completely different proposition. Current success rates for men actually having found a lady that they regard as a life-partner within a year of joining the best Thai dating sites amounts to about 55%. When you factor in the high proportion of men who are only looking for short-term liaisons, this is a very impressive statistic, and one that far outshines anything that a western dating site can boast about!
There is similarly encouraging news in terms of the divorce rates when compared to western divorce rates. Considering all the extra cultural and language barriers that need to be accommodated, you might expect Thai/western divorce rates to be higher than those of an all-western nature... not so! It turns out that divorce rates are actually lower, and if sensible practices are adhered to, such as the ones I’ll give you here, long-term chances of success will be even higher.
The range of online dating profiles vary in terms of 'sexual liberation'...
...but you should always be on your best behaviour. Good manners are very important.
Both short term fun and serious romance is available, but choose wisely if you want the latter!
Thai Dating Site Recommendation - This is an important part of this site’s advice; signing up with the wrong dating site can cost a lot of money as there are some scam sites out there. If you decide to opt for a dating site that charges on an ongoing basis e.g. per contact or per message, you can end up paying far too much money! The best Thai dating sites don’t charge this way, they charge at a fixed monthly rate and that rate should be nice and low – typically around $25 per month (less for longer term subscriptions).
Maximise Your Online Success – getting the results that you are hoping for comes down to many different things, not least amongst them is supply and demand. If you pick a good site you can be sure that the demand for foreign boyfriends is much higher than the supply of foreign men available in Thailand. Even better news for you, if you are a foreign man looking for a Thai girlfriend, is that the majority of men go about the online dating game in completely the wrong manner.
Online Tactics for Avoiding Gold-diggers – If there is one negative aspect of using Thai dating sites, it has to be that there are quite a lot of ladies using them that are just looking for a rich husband to take care of them and their family. Whilst you can sympathise with their problems, you must not get involved and try to save them. What you need to do at all cost is avoid their charms; here is my free advice about how to spot the good girls from the naughty girls.
Pros and Cons for Different Classes of Girls – With Rural girls, city girls, and even high society girls looking for romance these days, it can be a bit of a minefield trying to figure out for yourself just what sort of girl you are looking for. There some distinct general pros and cons to dating girls from each of the social classes and this page will give you a few ideas about that.
Thai Dating Agencies to Avoid - Just about the craziest thing that you can legally do in Thailand is arrange to get married to someone that you hardly know, but there are some services that will be able to arrange this for you (more or less). I really do have to caution against it; if you are considering doing something like this you should discuss it with someone you trust and get their opinion because there is a good chance that you might be having some sort of mental breakdown!
This lovely petite lady from Bangkok is 28 years old and looking for romance with a westerner. Would you like to meet lots of girls just like her? Then get my:
Online Dating Cheat Sheet (email address required)